A Despicable Letdown

"Despicable Me 2" (Rated PG/2013)

I'm not going to make a lot of friends saying this, especially considering the two lovely ladies I live with disagree with me, but I'm going to say it anyway: Despicable Me 2, despite its smashing box office success, is not a fraction as funny, clever, or enjoyable as the first one. Not even close. There I said it.

Don't get me wrong. I laughed at times. But at others, I was stone-faced. Or eyebrow-raised. Or worse, BORED. And that's just not like me. Maybe I went into it with high expectations. Either way, I was let down. Here are my gripes:

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A Monsters University High

Monsters University (Rated G/2013) Rarely is the sequel - or in the case, the prequel - better than the original. But Monsters University beats the pants off of Monsters Inc. No comparison. The original was mostly of a vehicle for Billy Crystal's schtick. (Funny, but shallow after that.) It lacked much dialogue outside of Crystal's Mike Wazowski character. And I prefer my animated movies to pound me over the head with a positive message. Monsters U does all of the things that Monsters Inc. doesn't.

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Bad Guys With Good Hearts

Often I wonder why Peanut gravitates towards certain movies. She likes the princess ones for obvious reasons. (She's a princess.) She likes movies with animals because she is an animal lover. But I especially love that she loves funny movies. Within this genre, I've noticed a trend: sarcastic evil villains. Ambitious, hilarious, type-A guys who appear tough on the outside but really have a good heart deep down. Sound like someone you know? I have no less than four examples:

"Megamind:" (2010/rated PG): Is it bad that I got excited when Peanut, at age four, heard the first few chords of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" on the radio in the car one day, and recognized it? I beamed with pride knowing she knows the song because of this movie. In fact, she also knows "Back in Black" and "Crazy Train" as "the Megamind songs." The movie has great music, including "Welcome to the Jungle" in my favorite scene. That alone makes it a winner for me.

Add in the Will Ferrell factor. I'm a fan. As the voice of the title character, he makes this movie laugh-out-loud funny. Megamind is an alien who became a villain after being bullied in school. Always an outcast and always on the losing end in his battles with his nemesis, he finally defeats him and takes over the city, only to become bored and create another foe. The foe turns bad and Megamind becomes the good guy because he has no other choice.

 We first showed this movie to Peanut when she was four. I  think that was too young. There's a lot of fighting (humorous violence, if you will). And the aforementioned classic rock music that is featured is not exactly kid-friendly even though I love it. If I could do it over, I'd wait until she was five or six. I've said before that my biggest concern in movies is language, not violence. Yet, I have become more relaxed about that because I think Peanut has showed she can handle it.

What Megamind has is an evil-turns-good message. That we can find the good in anyone. Peanut wanted to show this movie at her sixth birthday party, which was a movie night with her friends. That's how much she loves it. We love it too.

"Despicable Me:" (2010/rated PG) She also wanted to watch this one with her friends at her birthday party. (She put it to a vote, with Brave and Enchanted also in the running. Enchanted won.) Peanut loves the little girls in this movie. And the Minions. Who doesn't love the Minions? Steve Carell gives a masterful performance as Gru, the over-the-hill super villain who adopts the girls as part of his plot to pull off one final heist.

We DVR'd this movie for the two of us to watch before showing it to Peanut. We had very low expectations. Fast forward to us laughing so loudly that we had to pause the movie so we wouldn't miss the next scene. In the end, this movie is about love. A dad's love. The girls - strong, independent, curious - are the path to the  moral lesson. Gru eventually chooses them above himself. He realizes they make his life better. Just like Peanut made my life better. (Although I was NOT a washed-up super villain before she came along.)

What this movie also helped me as a parent realize is that it's ok to show Peanut movies with bad characters or rough language. As long as we talk about it, and are ready to answer her questions. And they have to be entertaining. Choosing love over evil is also a theme worth sharing with your kids.

"Wreck-It Ralph:" (2012/Rated PG) I have to admit I heard a lot of good things about this movie and still had low expectations. Wow was I blown away. Aside from being clever and nostalgic, this movie has a huge heart courtesy of its huge title character. Ralph is an outsider who wants desperately to fit in. He's a bad guy who wants to be a good guy. So he tries to win a medal in another game to prove he could be a hero. That's where he meets Venellope, herself an outcast in her own game. Ralph unintentionally, and then intentionally, becomes her hero. Without the medal. They make a hilarious and adorable odd couple team in what is essentially a buddy flick.

I think this movie touches a lot of emotions many of us feel or have felt. The need to fit in. The self-doubt. The desire to change ourselves. The realization that we can be loved and accepted for who we are. My favorite line comes at the end. From his game, Ralph is watching Venellope in her game and he says, "If that little kid likes me, how bad can I be?" Having gone through all of the emotions I just described at some point in my life, some of them still to this day, that line resonates with me and how Peanut has helped me put things in perspective. Because as long as that kid loves me, despite my faults, how bad can I be? Peanut has helped me love me more than anyone else.

"Shrek Forever After:" (2010/rated PG) The problem with a lot of these movies, as parents, is that the villains are so damn funny. Such is the case with Rumplestiltskin in this movie. Even Peanut thinks he's funny, with his wigs and his cupcakes and his sarcastic one-liners. I have mastered an impression of him. An impression she often demands I perform at will. When you watch this movie the first time, you think, "Wow, this little bastard is evil." And you doubt whether your child should be watching it. But the overriding themes of this and every Shrek movie, are love and friendship. And those are things I like to teach my daughter.

Feeling frustrated about his redundant and hectic life, Shrek makes a deal with "Rumple" that allows him to go back and be a mean ogre again for a day. But Rumple tricks him... and our adventure ensues. Shrek realizes his family and friends are the most important things in his life. And he tries as hard as he can to get them back. And because I'm a big softy despite my snark and sarcasm, I love this line from Fiona as she and Shrek are arguing in the beginning of the movie: "You have three beautiful children, a wife who loves you, friends who adore you. You have everything. Why is it the only person who can't see that is you?" Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone. Sometimes I take for granted what I have. Sometimes I waste a half a day or even a full one in a sour mood, frustrated at our lack of time/money/sanity.

At the end, Shrek tells Fiona, "I always thought I rescued YOU from the Dragon's Keep. No. It was you who rescued me." Niagara Falls in DKLand, ladies and gents. Thanks for the perspective in an unlikely place, Shrek. (And for the snark, Rumple.)

I would recommend all of these movies for Peanut's age (6) and up. But I admit when we showed her all but Wreck It Ralph she was too young. Sometimes ya gotta break even your own rules. Hey, if bad guys can turn good, evil can find love, and a cartoon ogre can remind me of what's important in life, then you can loosen the reins a little if you want.

The second-most amazing thing I've ever seen My Director do (give birth is first) reminded us of a scene from Despicable Me. You can read about it HERE.

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Making Movie Magic

Peanut's birthday lasted three days this year. Considering it encompassed a five-day trip to Disney last year, I think we let ourselves off easy this time around. We are finally coming down from the euphoria of the birthday weekend. A movie-themed birthday weekend. Staying true to her name, My Director outdid herself. This was her opus:

Those are popcorn-shaped cake pops,
with marshmallows at the bottom for
the "popcorn effect.

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The TV Hierarchy

Laying on the couch with a severe case of Man Cold for past few days, I've watched a lot of television. Most of it classic, awesome movies like Die Hard With a Vengeance, Field of Dreams, and Midnight Run. There is no better way to sweat out a bad case of Man Cold than by channeling the testosterone and coolness of the likes of Bruce Willis, James Earl Jones, and Robert DeNiro.

Watching all of that television inspired me to unveil this list, the undisputed rankings of what takes precedence on the television in our house. It is the result of years of negotiations. Now despite its length and detail, you'd think we watch a lot of television. Fear not. We watch just enough. You will notice it is very top-heavy in my favor. That is because I am willing to sacrifice what's on the television for a majority of the year, just to have complete authority when it counts. So without further ado, here is what rules the tube in the DKL house:

1. Pro football: For the sermon at our wedding, the pastor asked me and My Director to write about why we love each other. Neither of us was allowed to know what the other wrote until we heard the sermon. One of the things I wrote was, "Because she understands Sundays are for football." The pastor made sure to interject that Sundays are for church too. Well played, padre. Entire weekends are planned around me getting to sit on the couch for six hours and watch nothing but football. Or the Jets, who occasionally resemble football.

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Two Christmas Movies to Make a Grown Man Cry

Full disclosure: I turn into a big pile of yuletide mush this time of year. Songs that conjure up fond childhood memories; the look of wonder on Peanut's face that often warms my heart enough to produce ocular precipitation. But perhaps movies are the biggest cause of this grown man's crying. Yes, despite my recent rant about early-decorating over-achievers, I really am a big, soft, sensitive Christmas cuddle bear:

Hands off, ladies

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Now She Has a Favorite Movie Quote

My little girl is growing up. Not only that, I have further proof that she is indeed my daughter.  First, it was her obsession with inconsequential details in movies. (It started with Dolphin Tale.) Now, she's quoting movies. Regularly. She's worked it into her witty arsenal. One movie, in particular. And one quote specifically.

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Making Heads of Dolphin Tale

"Dolphin Tale" (2011/Rated PG) Peanut is definitely my daughter. Not that there was any doubt. We have matching big toes, after all. But more and more, her traits resemble mine. This will make her a very popular troublemaker once high school rolls around. Not sure if I'm totally prepared for that, but there's plenty of time.

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What Do You Mean I'm Funny?

I missed almost two months of my senior year in high school because of mononucleosis. Can you believe that crap? Freakin' mono senior year? In this day and age? I was going stir crazy. A parade of tutors helped me through my school work in the mornings and a parade of friends came to visit me in the afternoons. One of those friends was thoughtful enough to bring me a yearbook form to fill out. Even then, way before blogging existed, I was needy and self-absorbed. (Once a writer always a writer.) And this friend knew I would want to be immortalized in the yearbook with my likes, dislikes, favorite memories, and of course, my quote.

Some kids quote Mark Twain or Shakespeare. Some quote John Lennon or Jerry Garcia. Who did I quote? Joe Pesci. His character in Goodfellas, to be exact. It was this quote:

"What do you mean I'm funny? What am I, a clown? I'm here to amuse you?"

It's arguably the most famous scene in one of the most popular movies of all time: Goodfellas. When I was a senior in high school, that movie was already a classic. Now it's one of the ten movies I can't wait to watch with Peanut. I quote it daily. For example, if I ask someone at work to do something a certain way, I just may end it with, "Now go get your shine box." Yeah... I'm manager of the year.

The needy, self-absorbed budding writer in me also wanted my yearbook quote to stand out while standing the test of time. I wanted to be remembered, and remembered as a funny guy. Anyone who is funny wants to remind you how funny they are. So it is with that in mind that I present to you this list of some of some of the funniest posts on DKL:

The post that remains the most-ever read on DKL is this one about Peanut's Ken doll and his "man-gina." It's so funny because "Dude Looks Like a Lady."

To keep with the awkward, plastic private parts theme, few things could prepare me for what I saw when I opened the fridge one morning: Belle saying, "Rise and Shine."

Yet another post with pen!s humor. This one involves real people, including my mother-in-law of all people. And a reenactment from one of Luna's toys, to show "THAT's not a Toy."

Believe it or not, the idea not only to bring my in-laws to Disney with us but actually stay in the same room with them was mine. You might be asking, "What the Hell Was I Thinking?"

Finally, I had a little fun with photoshop when Peanut was caught swiping toys from the daycare playground. It was all part of my effort "To Catch a Thief."

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Why Rent When You Can Borrow?

I'm not sure why it took us so long to catch on to this. Uh, hello? Why rent movies from the cable company or wade through the endless sea of dreck that Netflix calls its children's collection? Why consume precious DVR space with movies you must "save until I delete," when they're wonderfully cost neutral and gigabyte free at the library? My Director and I have taken some serious steps to trim the budge recently. And here's one way that I am sure you are aware of, yet might not take advantage of.

We do one a week, because that's the maximum amount of time the library lets you borrow. That's actually great because just when you're getting tired of the repetition of the same movie over and over, the clock strikes twelve and it turns into a pumpkin. (See what I did there?) We're also lucky because the selection at our town library is pretty great. Here are some of the highlights:

Alice in Wonderland: It was nice to show Peanut a Disney movie about a little girl who wasn't a princess. But I have to tell you, I still have no freaking idea what the hell this movie is about. (Or the book, for that mater.) And I've seen it at least a dozen times. It's just nonsense. I have a pretty vivid imagination, but I just don't get it. Although, I am not a five year-old. So I guess the nonsense makes sense to Peanut because she loved it. But it gave me a headache. However, I do now sing, "A Very Merry Un-birthday" regularly. That always gets the laughs. So there's a silver lining.

Mary Poppins: We all loved this movie. The songs alone make it great. And all of the things that Mary brings: imagination, wonder, laughter. What I didn't realize after not having seen it in quite some time was that when you look past the spoonfuls of sugar and Chim-chim-Churoos, this movie is essentially about a dad and his kids. And at the end, the dad realizes it's more important to spend time with them than it is to spend time at work. Something I realized a long time ago, thankfully.

Pinocchio: Hands down, this is my all-time favorite Disney movie. (Read: I'm Italian.) I must admit, this movie introduces some themes that you probably wouldn't find in a children's movie nowadays. Like smoking and underage drinking. And Jiminy Cricket, while serving as Pinocchio's conscience, is a bit of a ladies' man. Or at least he tries to be. Despite all of the above, Pinocchio remains my favorite because of the simple premise of going after a dream and failing, but not giving up the pursuit. I also love the music in this one. Also, no mention of this movie is complete without my also pointing out that My Director often acts as my conscience, to great success:

I usually let my conscience be my guide.

We also borrowed Return of Jafar, the sequel to Aladdin. If you haven't heard of it before, there's a reason. You can do better. But Peanut picked the movie that week. So we suffered. It has nothing Aladdin has, and less. Another week she picked The AristoCats, which was a pleasant surprise. It's a buddy movie where a stray alley cat helps a rich cat family get home. But you need to explain the issues of wealth, wills, and a greedy butler who tries to off the cats to get the money.

But you don't have to go to such sinister lengths for a few bucks. Check out your local library and borrow a "new" movie. Your kids won't care if it's free. Or 50 years old, for that matter.

We did splurge and took Peanut to see "Brave" this summer. Twice. It was worth it, as I wrote here.

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Lion King 2: Scarred For Life

"The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride" (1998/Rated G): In a perfect world, I would watch every movie before we show it to Peanut. Then again, there are only 24 hours in a day. Thirteen of them are dedicated to working and commuting. Peanut gets three. My Director and I get maybe two. So that leaves five hours to sleep. Six at best. In other words, I'm not wasting two hours watching Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, making sure there isn't any gratuitous violence or sexual innuendo. Especially since My Director and I are currently burning through Breaking Bad on Netflix like a couple of meth addicts ourselves. (Closing in on the end of season four.)

So when Peanut watched this movie one Saturday morning, it served as a backdrop as I made breakfast and fussed around the kitchen cleaning up remnants of the week that was. My Director had recorded it on DVR and told Peanut she had done it. So she asked to watch it. (Reason number two that I have given up the "watch it first" fight. Nice idea. Just not plausible.)

In fact, we did it backwards this time. After Peanut watched it, mostly without me, I wanted it see it myself. Yes I was the one requesting it later that weekend. Why? Because what I heard couldn't be right.

"Where did all of these bad lions come from?" I asked when I finally had a chance to focus on the movie.

"They're Scar's family."

"When did Scar have a family?"

"Remember in the last movie, daddy?"

When did this happen?

No. Scar was laying in his lair with an imprisoned Zazu after killing Mustafa and banishing Simba. When Simba returned, the lionesses (and hyenas) turned on Scar. Right? There was no hint of a wife or kids. Right? Apparently, he was very busy behind the scenes and those details were left on the cutting room floor when the first Lion King was edited.

So in this sequel, they spin a tale of a banished pride, starving and plotting to overtake Simba. One of Scar's descendants, Kovu (hockey player name), is their chosen heir. Kovu, it is vaguely mentioned, is not actually Scar's son. Supposedly. That's a relief, since he ends up falling in love with Simba's daughter, Kiara. If he were Scar's son, that would make them cousins. Second cousins to be exact. Kissing cousins. And that sh!t ain't cool no matter where you live, the Mississippi Delta or the Serengeti.

Besides the possible kissing cousins aspect, how about adding deadbeat dad to Scar's murderous resume? The whole kingdom was starving because he had made a deal with the hyenas and all he was doing was laying in his cave torturing poor Zazu?

Poor, tortured Zazu

Obviously, these things are all lost on a five year-old. Lion King 2 is basically a mirror image of the first one, with similar themes, fight scenes, and music. Is it ok for a my daughter to watch? Sure. Does it evoke more questions than answers for adults? Yes, just as much as kissing cousins do.

I had some fun with the issues I had with Lilo & Stitch too. You can read about it here.

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We Finally Saw the Wizard

"A heart is not measured by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." -My favorite line from The Wizard of Oz 

"The Wizard of Oz" (1939/Rated G): You ever get something in your head, and you make a bigger deal of it than it actually is? In hindsight, that's probably what My Director and I did with The Wizard of Oz. We played up in our minds that it was way too scary to show to Peanut until she was "ready." (Whatever ready means.) Turns out, besides being a little freaked out by the witch every time she popped up, Peanut was fine. She had no problem sleeping that night, and we proceeded to watch it 27 more times the rest of the week.

To put our hesitation over showing Peanut this movie into perspective, the day after we watched it for the first time we were joking with friends of ours who took their five year-old boys to see The Dark Knight Rises. How's THAT for opposite ends of the spectrum? Not something I would do, but to each their own.

As for The Wizard of Oz itself, it had been at least ten years if not more since I had seen it. And let me tell you, I fell in love with it all over again. (What can I say? I'm a sucker for nostalgia.) It not only transports me to a different place, it transports me to a different time. To when I had to wait for the once-a-year event, when it would air on CBS on a Sunday night in March. My parents would let me stay up late to watch it with them. The cowardly lion is my favorite, by the way. He steals the show in my opinion. (Little-known DKL fact: I played the cowardly lion in a play once and killed it.)

"What do they got that I ain't got?"

Watching it again, I couldn't help but think of its place in movie history, in American pop culture history. Did you know The Wizard of Oz lives in Library of Congress? Think about how groundbreaking it was for its time. I am in awe even though I know Dorothy and her friends are clearly dancing to the end of a sound stage when they turn a corner on the yellow brick road and skip off screen. I am still awed even though you can clearly see the string that makes the cowardly lion's tail wag. And the "city" of Oz is really just a big room decorated green.

Still, the magic and the wonder take hold of me.

As a dog owner I do feel compelled to point out Toto's big naughty scene. As much as he is a hero who escapes Mrs. Gultch, leads the three friends to save Dorothy, and ultimately reveals the wizard's true identity, he decides to act up at the worst, most crucial time. Just when Dorothy is about to be sent home, he jumps out of her arms to go after a cat and the wizard takes off in his balloon without her. Bad dog. Otherwise, Toto saves the day most of this movie.

And while I'm pointing out some issues with the movie, the witch's guards are so inept they can't spear a runaway dog? And Glinda the Good Witch has the nerve to float in on her bubble in the penultimate scene and tell Dorothy she had the ability to go home all along? That information would have been very helpful back in Munchkinland, lady. Also:

Still, The Wizard of Oz is a timeless classic. I'm sure if you've read this far you have fond memories of watching it as a child, and/or with your child. Its initial viewing in your home with your child should be an event. But I would recommend waiting until at least the age of five because of the scary parts.

Our paranoia over this movie being too scary for Peanut came from the nightmares she had after watching another movie. You can read about that here. 

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What We're Watching: Lilo and Stitch

"Lilo and Stitch" 2002/Rated PG. We actually just deleted this one from our DVR to make room for Tarzan. (Review of that one coming soon.) Whenever we record a new movie, we ask Peanut to chose one to delete. After all, mommy and daddy need DVR space for HGTV shows and the final season of Weeds. (Who am I kidding? We have more Doc McStuffins on there than anything else.) When she chose this movie to get rid of, I was ecstatic. I didn't really care for Lilo and Stitch. Why? Let's face it. Stitch is a d!ck. He's someone else's misbehaved child that you  so badly want to discipline but can't.

Even Disney itself played up Stitch as an unlikeable bad-boy renegade in its genius promotional campaign for the movie. (Click here to see it if the video below doesn't work.)


Sure, Stitch appears to be as cuddly as a koala. And as I've mentioned before, I love koalas. Then again koalas aren't really all that cuddly. They're kind of a d!ck too:

 :

Maybe I'm being too hard on Stitch, and this movie. It does have great music, most of it from Elvis. So that's a huge plus. And its overriding message is the importance of family, as Stitch tries to become part of Lilo's. While I'm not generally against showing Peanut movies with misbehaved characters, there are a lot of negatives in this one if you ask me. First, Disney tried too hard to make this movie appeal to boys and girls. It has alien fight scenes followed by dancing hula girls. And it just doesn't work. There's also a lot of violence, a couple of dead parents that never are really adequately explained, a main character who is also a misfit (Lilo) for reasons too complicated to explain to a five-year old, and a child services worker voiced by Ving Rhames who spends the whole movie trying to take Lilo away from her sister. (Her sister, also, can't seem to be able to hold down a job because Stitch keeps destroying things at her places of work.)

"No, Lilo. Your living situation is pretty f*cking far from ok."

No amount of Elvis songs could make me like this mess of a movie. When Disney marketed Stitch as a d!ck, that should have been a signal to the rest of us to stay away. And to top things off, I am incapable of correctly pronouncing "Lilo." Peanut has to correct me every time:

"Daddy, it's LEE-lo. Not LIE-lo."

Thankfully I won't be making that mistake as much anymore. This clunker no longer occupies precious hard-drive space on the DVR.

I was much more enthusiastic in my review of "Brave." Click here to read it.  

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What We're Watching: Brave

"Our fate lives within us. You only need to be brave enough to see it." -from Brave

"Brave" (2012/rated PG): Before we went to see this movie, I had no idea where its title came from. I just assumed that the fire-haired arrow-shooting princess Merida (pronounced "MERRY-dah"), would be a warrior who shatters the often-maligned Disney princess mold. The plot soon revealed Merida to be a teenage princess who was still an adept archer but not a soldier of any sort. Instead, Merida was engaged in the age-old battle-of-wills that so many princesses throughout history have had with their moms. Still, in the back of my mind I wondered what the point of that title was.

Then, after an emotional reunion with her mom where they both realize they were misunderstanding each other throughout the whole movie, Merida narrates the lines I quoted above just before the credits roll.

Brave. Here I thought it was going to mean she was a fighter, like Mulan. But no. It means she fought, not with a weapon, but for what she believes in.Her values, her desired fate, her future. She didn't want to be betrothed to someone. Her mom insisted that's what princesses do. After an encounter with a witch and a scary bear, turns out princesses don't have to do it that way.

I wanted to bring Peanut to this movie because of her current fascination with princesses, since Merida is brave and strong. My suspicions were right. Merida is a wonderful role model who, while she has issues with her mom, takes a stand for her family. Her love for them is evident throughout, even when they are in conflict. Oh, added bonus: Merida is a princess who has two parents throughout the entire film too.

Disney and Pixar outdid themselves with the animation and the message. And even though Peanut was afraid of the mean bear, I would recommend this movie to children her age. A little warning: there is a bit of nudity. Yes, nudity. Some quick, humorous mooning. And there is a bit of violence. (Thus, the PG rating.) Overall, the film has some funny and heartwarming moments. And the end gave me goose bumps, made My Director cry, and left Peanut smiling and clapping. It's also a great mother-daughter movie.

Brave gets three very enthusiastic thumbs up from the DKL family.

For more on Peanut's princess fascination, click here to see which ones we tracked down on our Disney adventure. 

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What We're Watching: Mulan

"Mulan" (1998/Rated G): In our ongoing effort to expose Peanut to as many princesses as possible before she outgrows this phase (wink wink), we recorded Mulan on the DVR and had a family movie night on Friday. Actually, it was Peanut who spotted it while I was setting her up with another episode of Doc McStuffins. (A review for which is long overdue. Stay tuned.)  She saw the promo, asked to have it recorded, and I obliged knowing nothing of this film except that Mulan is "the Asian princess" who ends up being a strong warrior who saves her country.

And that is actually Mulan in a nutshell. But of course, you can't have a Disney "princess" story without the princess having some sort of shortcoming and the society in which she lives having some sort of huge problem with her or with women in general. (I put princess in quotes because Mulan isn't the traditional Disney princess with the tiara and the prince and the damsel in distress.) Well, in this film Mulan's shortcoming is that she's a girl. Seriously. She lives in China. And let's just say girls are frowned upon in that establishment. And society's huge problem with women is, well, women.

But Mulan sneaks away from her family to fight her country's war on her injured father's behalf. She is a misfit who becomes a cunning warrior with minimal training that is portrayed through an odd musical sequence performed by Donny Osmond. To make a long story short, and without giving up a lot of the rest of the plot, she ends up being the hero. And despite its chauvanistic shortcomings, Mulan is actually the hero. She saves the day and this otherwise ho-hum movie.

Obviously a necessary conversation was had with Peanut both during and after this movie. A conversation about girls being able to do things just as well if not better than boys. About them being just as strong, smart, and capable, if not more. (Ya know, sexism is bad.) All in all, Mulan is entertaining and short, both of which are crucial. But something tells me this one won't be in the rotation too long. And that's fine with me too.

Mulan was one of the few princesses we didn't meet on our trip to Disney. Click here to read about which ones we did.

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10 Movies I Can't Wait to Watch with Peanut

When someone asks you which movie is your favorite, do you have just one answer? I'm willing to bet no. Which movie we like at that moment depends on how we feel at the time, and how we felt at the time we first saw the movie. It is with that in mind that I have complied this list. I've tried to represent as many genres and as many important filmmakers from my lifetime as possible.

Since the Oscars now have ten nominees for Best Picture, and each year there are very few of them, if any, I'd like to see more than once if at all, I have chosen ten of my favorite movies. When she is old enough, I am going to sit down with Peanut and watch each of these movies with her. I'm going to explain why they're so special to me. And I'm going to spend more time watching her enjoy them than watching the actual movie:

1. The Goonies: Any child of the 80's will have this movie on his/her list. I've always wanted to be a Goonie. I've always wanted to go on an adventure with my friends. To search for hidden treasure and ride underground water slides. I've wanted to kiss Kerri Green in a cave. Actually, I still want to kiss Kerri Green in a cave. I still want to do it all, for that matter. I want Peanut to want to be a Goonie too. Goonies never say die.

2. Back to the Future: When I was sick a couple of weeks ago, I was laying on the couch flipping through the channels and Peanut caught a glimpse of this movie and said, "Look, Daddy. It's your favorite." She knows because one day I was watching it when she came downstairs from her nap. She asked me what I was watching. I told her it was one of my favorite movies and we'll watch it someday when she's older. I remember seeing this movie in the theater with my brother. I was ten. I was fascinated. What child doesn't daydream about going back in time and changing something, or spying on their parents?  Great Scott, what adult doesn't? Huey Lewis is the icing on the cake.

3. Big Fish: This choice is all about my dad. This movie came out shortly after he died in 2003. I remember a parade of people offering me their condolences at his wake. People from his past. People I forgot about. People I had never met. People I had only heard of in his stories. That's what happens at the end of this film. The son sees all of these people from his dad's past. All of these people whose lives he touched. And he realized what a great life he lived. 

4. The Shawshank Redemption: Other than being one of the best movies ever, it has a powerful message about hope and friendship. It also teaches you that life doesn't always turn out how you intended. That there is injustice in this world. But how you respond to that injustice says a lot about your character. Oh, and it has Morgan Freeman.

5. Spaceballs: I am still close to about a dozen of my buddies from high school. This movie was ingrained in our vernacular back then. And even if we've gone weeks or months without talking, one of us can recite a line from this movie and the other will quickly bust out the next line as if no time has passed between us. So many laughs. So many memories. I know there are more classic Mel Brooks movies, but this one is my favorite. Because the next time I see my buddies, we'll inevitably quote this movie. When will then be now? Soon.

6. Hoosiers: I had to sort through a half dozen sports movies. But this one gets the nod because everyone loves an underdog. At least, I do. (I'm a Jets fan.) And when Gene Hackman busts out the tape measure to show his team that the court in the arena where they're about to play the state championship has the same dimensions as their gym back home, I get so pumped up I could dunk a basketball. (Ok, maybe not.) Don't get caught watchin' the paint dry.

7. Ferris Bueller's Day Off: I remember one day during senior year in high school, me and a friend just left after fifth period. He was going through some stuff at home. So I said, "Let's get the hell the out of here and go to the beach." So we spent the next two periods hanging out in our Catholic school uniforms, talking about whatever issues high school kids might have when they reach the point where they get up and leave school without telling anybody. The scary thing is, no one knew we were gone. A couple of top students, vanish for an hour and a half. No one missed us? "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Thanks, Ferris. If The Goonies was my childhood dream, this movie was my high school dream. I lived it for two periods.

8. Jerry Maguire: This is the movie that My Director and I fell in love to. I watched it constantly the semester we started dating. Every time she came over, it seemed to be on my television. We still have that VHS tape. Yes, this movie has a lot of cool sports references and cameos by athletes. A lot of cute lines like "Show me the money" and "This ain't show friends, it's show business." But it's on this list because it's part of our history. And because Peanut's mom completes me. 

9. A Christmas Story: I was worried that my list was devoid of a classic film; that most of my movies are from the 80's or early 90's. But is there any arguing this movie is already a timeless American classic? Every scene has a memorable line. A classic quote. The exciting thing about this movie is, I don't think we're that far away from watching it together. Maybe this year? 

10. Goodfellas: It's an Italian thing. While I despise stereotypes about my heritage and most movies and television shows that perpetuate them, there is no despising this movie. It's probably the one we'll have to wait the longest to watch together because of the violence. True story: My high school yearbook quote was, "What am I a clown? I'm here to amuse you?"

It was very difficult for me to narrow this list down to ten. At one point, I had more than 30 movies to consider. But that's my list and I'm sticking to it. What's on your list? Let the debate begin...

If you want my take on the movies we do watch with Peanut, I list them here as we watch them. 

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The End of the Innocence

"We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by, and the tall grass wave in the wind." -Don Henley

There is a fine line between sheltering your child and protecting her. I want to protect her for as long as I can.

Bad role models...

I don't want her to know about the bad things in the world just yet. The evil, the death, the trash on the show "Jersey Shore." Trust me... I grew up there. I'm proof you can survive the Jersey Shore but not become "Jersey Shore."

...good Halloween costumes

She's too young.

One day I came home from work and my daughter was watching a movie. It was a rainy day and she had had blood taken earlier in the day, so I was fine with her watching a movie. I wasn't fine with what she was watching.

"Tangled."

When this movie came out in theaters, we heard from some other parents that it was scary. That it had some adult themes.

"Tangled:" Appropriate for 4 year-olds?

But there it was, on my television.

I bit my tongue because my wife was having a stressful week at work and staying late for a third day in a row. I did this... for two days. (And I thought giving up chocolate for Lent was a challenge).

When I finally brought it up, nonchalantly, I told my wife my concern. She then revealed to me that she approved the movie. But why?

A few days later, at dance class, I was talking to a group of parents about "Tangled" as our daughters pranced and pirouetted in the next room. None of them seemed to think it was that bad at all. In fact, they all thought it was great for four year-olds. That night I watched it with her. We both enjoyed it. It was fine... except for the end, with the stabbing someone with a knife and the throwing someone else out of a window.

Am I being too protective?

Maybe. Maybe not...

In a year and a half, she'll be in Kindergarten. Then, first grade. That's when those rotten older kids will get a hold of her. Tell her there's no Santa. Tell her mommy and daddy are going to die some day. Tell her God knows what else.

The time for her to be carefree is running out. The time when her only concerns are what outfits she's dressing her Lammies in, how many green beans she has to eat to be finished, and what crayon to color with. I cherish this time and hold on to it tightly.

The treasure she unearthed

Later that same night that my wife and I had that conservation, my daughter was rummaging through one of our bookshelves. It aggravates us to no end when she sneaks into the guest bedroom and plays with our books because of the mess it makes and the potential harm she could do to one of the books. On that night her rummaging unearthed a treasure: a homemade bookmark from my nephew. He was four years-old at the time. My daughter's age now. It was inside a book that my sister - his mother - had given me for my college graduation. It was from a time where my nephew was still a blonde haired kid running around and making us laugh. Just like my daughter. Innocent. Perfect. Unaffected.

Now, he's the one in college. I almost broke down.

Trust me... no child of mine is going to be soft. But I'll keep her world as safe and peaceful as I can for as long as I can.

**We use this site to help determine whether a movie is age appropriate. It's says "Tangled" is ok... so maybe I'm just a big pain in the a$$: http://www.commonsensemedia.org/

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