Saturday 3/30: "Daddy, the Easter Bunny should leave bunny poop in the backyard for Luna to eat."

Friday 3/29: Me: "I'm thirsty." Peanut: "Hi, thirsty. I'm (Peanut)."

Friday 3/22: Peanut is aware of my desire to shave my head once I reach "hair island" in a couple of years. Since finding out, she has repeatedly expressed her opposition. Just now she brought it up out of the blue:
Peanut: "Daddy, WHY do you want to cut off all your hair?"
Me: "I just don't like how it looks."
Peanut: "But I LOVE how it looks."
Tuesday 3/5: The joys (and sorrows) of turning six: Peanut's having a moment because a pair of her favorite old pj's no longer fit. (A few days later, I wrote THIS POST in honor of her 6th birthday.)

Monday 2/25: Sometimes My Director and I use code names when we're talking about people Peanut knows in front of her.

Peanut: "Who's 'Elbows?'"

Me: "If I wanted you to know I wouldn't have said 'Elbows.'"

Peanut: "I'll give you $100 if you tell me."
(We can also no longer spell in front of her. I wrote about that HERE.)

Saturday 2/3: I'm not feeling well today. Peanut, quoting MegaMind, just said I look "disgustingly horrifying."

MAN COLD made Peanut compare me to this.
Saturday 1/27: In telling Peanut something she didn't want to hear, she began to cry and responded, "Now you made me mad at you."

Saturday 1/19: Not sure where or when Peanut saw "The Godfather." But she knows a classic scene when she sees it:

Tuesday 1/8: My Director just came back from dinner with her friends. "How was Peanut?" She asked.

Me: "Judging by the number of times she said "I miss mommy," you would have thought you had gone off to war." (But there was a brief period where I was her favorite parent. I wrote about that HERE.)

Tuesday 1/1: Peanut jumps on me to wake me up. "Daddy why are you all wet?"

Me: "I'm sweating alcohol."

Creepy? Yes.
Sunday 12/23: Watching The Polar Express, referring to the Tom Hanks conductor character:
Peanut: "Daddy, that guy is crazy."
(She might be right, but I still love that movie, as I wrote about HERE.)

Saturday 12/22: I'm considering shaving my head when I turn 40. (I still have 3 years.) This to avoid "hair island." Peanut doesn't like this plan:
"Daddy, if you cut off all your hair I won't look at you or talk to you or let you wipe my butt." (I wrote about my hair revelation HERE.)
Saturday 12/15: Someone passed gas as we were getting Peanut ready for bed. Wasn't me. Wasn't Peanut. Wasn't Luna. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "I have to leave the room," I said.

As I got up to leave, Peanut said, "Daddy, you don't abandon your wife because someone farted." Words I will most surely repeat to her fiancé one day.

Broccoli rabe: an acquired. taste
Thursday 12/13: Peanut's doing homework for the letter y. She's drawling a picture of herself eating broccoli rabe for "yuck." That's what you get for having an Italian dad who cooks and likes broccoli rabe.

Sunday 12/9: Sometimes Peanut is so maniacally naughty that not even the threat of SANTA will deter her. We were on the "Polar Express." Santa was TWO ROWS AWAY and she was giving me lip.

Me: "Do you have no fear? Santa is RIGHT THERE. He's actually SEEING YOU be naughty."

Peanut on The Polar Express
Peanut: *Switches devilish smile to angelic smile as Santa arrives.* Evil I tell ya. No fear... and evil.
(Regardless of her naughtiness and lack of fear, the train ride with Santa is always magical and memorable, as I wrote HERE.)

Monday 12/3: Tonight's homework: the letter z. My explanation to Peanut: "If a 2 and a 7 had a baby, it would look like a z."

Wednesday 11/21: When asked what she is thankful for, Peanut said, "water, food, bed... and Luna:" (For more on Peanut's ever-evolving relationship with Luna, click HERE.)

Saturday 10/27: Showed Peanut the Thriller video for the first time this morning. Terrified. Then, "Can we watch it again?"
("Thriller" is one of many songs on our Halloween playlist. Check out the rest of it HERE.)

Sunday 10/21: Exchange during tickle fight with Peanut, whose only defense is relentless kicking:

Me: "Just be careful you don't kick me in the stomach, especially since I've had dairy."

Peanut: "Daddy, you're weird."

Lactose intolerance is not "weird," child.

Thursday 10/4: 
"Peanut, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Either a veterinarian or a luau person." (There's a reason why she wants to be a "luau person"I wrote about it HERE.)

Friday 9/28: Every night before dinner, we hold hands and say grace as a family. It's a tradition my family started. Last night My Director missed the start of dinner. So to make sure we had three people holding hands, Peanut substituted Pascal from Tangled:

Wednesday 9/19: Peanut: "Daddy, whose boss are you?"

Me: "I'm not anyone's boss. I'm more like a supervisor. Everyone has a boss, though. Even bosses have a boss."

Peanut: "Luna doesn't have a boss."(She certainly doesn't, as I wrote HERE.)

Saturday 9/15: Day 1 of t-ball: Me: "Peanut, it's ok if you'd rather have the coaches teach you and not me."
Peanut: "Yeah, daddy. I feel like you were distracting me."

One of the best pictures ever taken of Peanut.
(I chronicled Peanut's brief but memorable t-ball career HERE.)

Sunday 9/9: Me: "Peanut, you know I don't like to come into the playroom when it's messy like this."

Peanut: "Then get out."

Friday 8/30: Me: "You have daddy's feet. Your feet are going to look like mine when you grow up."
Peanut (whining): "I don't want hair on my feeeeet."

Saturday 8/17: Movie: "Follow the Yellow Brick Road..."

Peanut: "What happens if they follow the red one?"
(I eventually answered Peanut's question in one my favorite posts. You can read it HERE.)

Monday 8/12: Peanut instantly recognized Piano Man when it came on in the car just now and said, "Daddy, it's your favorite song."

Sunday 8/11: Peanut, on the car ride home: "Daddy, what if the GPS lady is Dora's map's wife?" She might be on to something.

Monday 8/5: Peanut: "Daddy, may I watch Shrek Ever After?"

Me: "Sure. Why do you want to watch that all of a sudden?"

Peanut: "Because the other day you were GRUMPlestiltskin."

Nice for her to be using MY lines against me. (Peanut and I are both a little "GRUMPlestiltskin" at times. I wrote about that HERE.)

"Pinky" is beautiful to Peanut.
Friday 8/2: Last night Peanut didn't like that I called the hermit crab ugly. "I think she's just as pretty as me and mommy, daddy." (For more on this addition to our family, who is still alive and well as of this writing, click HERE.)

Monday 7/29: Peanut: "Why is mommy still asleep?"

Me: "She was up late watching the Olympics. She's Sleeping Beauty."

Peanut: "Sleeping Beauty doesn't sleep with her mouth open."

Sunday 7/28: Peanut: "Daddy, I left my coloring book in the car. May you go get it please?"

Me: "It's raining really hard outside."

Peanut: "Well, you can put on your rain jacket."

Thursday 7/4: Me:"Why do we celebrate the 4th of July?"

Peanut: "I forgot."

Me: "We just talked about it yesterday."

Peanut: "Daddy, I'm on vacation."

Friday 6/22: Me: "Peanut, who's in charge when (my mother-in-law) is here? You or her?

Peanut: "I don't know how to answer that."

Tuesday 6/19: Me: "(Peanut), who taught you to be so funny?"

Peanut: "You, daddy. And Luna."

Sunday 6/17: Peanut, on the phone with My Director's dad: "We went to a baseball game. It was boring." (Details of that "boring" game HERE.)

Friday 6/15: Watching Finding Nemo with sick Peanut and she insists Peach (the Starfish) is a boy. So I tell her about Allison Janney and even pull up the Nemo IMDB page and show her side-by-side picture of Janney and Peach and she says, "Well she has a boy's voice."

Peach: Not a boy.
Monday 6/11: Peanut nailed down all of our nicknames this weekend, based on personality traits:
Peanut: "Daddy, you're grumpy and mommy's bossy."
Me: "And what's Luna?"
Peanut: "Snarfy."
Me: "And what are you?"
Peanut: "Cutiepuss."
Sunday 6/10: Peanut: "What's a cockroach?"
My Director: "Cockroaches are bugs that are usually found in places that are really dirty."
Peanut: "Like Chicago."

Sunday 6/3: "Daddy I like the sound it makes when I hit the ball with the bat."

Friday 6/1: Peanut's solution to the chipmunks eating the strawberries in our garden: "Let's make a sign telling them to stay out."

Sunday 5/27: Just came back from a run. "Peanut, you want to walk Luna with me?" "No, daddy. You're too sweaty."

Saturday 5/26: Storm clouds followed by a huge clap of thunder. Peanut runs to the back door to shout at me as I grill dinner on the patio, "Oh no, daddy! Will we still be able to go to the frozen yogurt place?" Yes, sweetheart. And thanks for your concern.

Monday 5/21: While discussing Peanut's car sickness incident yesterday, she decided that instead of saying "vomit," she wants to pronounce it "vonamint." Come to think of it, that actually sounds quite pleasant and refreshing.

Friday 5/18: My Director: "When daddy gets the hiccups it means he can't drink anymore." Peanut: "You mean daddy can't have any more of that 'juice'?"

Tuesday 5/15: "Daddy look at this piece of chicken it looks like a kangaroo!" (Sorry. I failed to snap a picture of said piece of chicken.)

Sunday 4/29: Walked into my bedroom after I showered and Peanut greeted me with, "Hello, hairy butt." When I asked her for privacy while I got dressed she rolled her eyes and said, "Someone's cranky all of a sudden."

Saturday 4/14: Peanut spots a fuzzy on the floor. Peanut touches said fuzzy with her index finger. Fuzzy starts walking. Peanut screams with horror. Chaos and hilarity ensue. Daddy comes to rescue.

Sunday 4/1: Peanut: "Mommy, will you play princesses with me?" My Director: "I'd love to but I have to fold the laundry." "Then you can be Cinderella." (Princesses are kind of a thing:)

Saturday 3/31: "Daddy, let's call mommy 'Miss Bossypants.'"

Saturday 3/24: Peanut just told her playdate, "Mommy is the boss around here." No respect I tell ya. (Then again, there is a reason I call her, "My Director.")

Saturday 2/18: I walked into the house after my morning run and Peanut immediately says, "Daddy, I can smell your sweat from here."

Friday 2/17: Peanut just declared me "the best hide-and-seek player in the world."

Thursday 2/16: Today Peanut had to bring in something to school "pertaining to a famous American." So last night I explained to her what both of those words mean, separately and together. Then I asked, "Who do you think is a famous American?" Her response: "You daddy."

Wednesday 2/15: Peanut, on the car ride home from daycare: "Daddy, those people still have their Christmas lights up. They're crazy."

My therapy dog
Saturday 2/11: After a particularly awful coughing fit Peanut says, "Daddy what is WRONG with you?!" (It's Man Cold. And it's deadly serious.)

Saturday 2/4: Peanut is very concerned that I'm still not feeling well. "Mommy, if daddy's sick, who's gonna cook us dinner?"  (FYI: I do the cooking in our house.)

Friday 2/3: The benefits of being sick: Peanut laughs every time I blow my nose because it "sounds like an elephant."

Thursday 2/2: "Daddy, Lewis' hair sticks up like yours does when you wake up:"

Wednesday 1/25/12: Peanut and I watched "How to Train Your Dragon" tonight and we decided Toothless looks like Luna:

Monday 1/23/12: ‎"Peanut, may you help me set the table, please?" "No thank you, daddy."

Saturday 1/21/12: Watching Cinderella. I say, "I like her because she has hope and faith." Peanut says, "I like her because she has the same hair as me."

Saturday 1/14/12: I bought these really nice chicken burgers at my Italian butcher. During dinner, My Director says, "they're good but they're really big." So Peanut now thinks her burger is too big to even pick up and eat. "You're the queen of that," I said. "Saying things that influence her like that." "And what are you the king of?" she asks. "Being awesome," I answered. Then Peanut says, "No daddy you're the King of Coo Coo."

Thursday 1/5/12: Peanut: "Daddy, so many boys want to marry me because I'm so nice." Me: "They're gonna have to get through me first." (One boy has already asked for the Peanut's hand in marriage.)

Friday 12/30/11: We just overheard Peanut tell her play date that "I don't know" is a bad word. Parenting win and fail at the same time.

Thursday 12/29/11: "Peanut, why are all of these princesses naked?" "Because they're having a swimming party, daddy."

Tuesday 12/27/11: ‎"Peanut, have you eaten any fruit today?" "No daddy, because you forgot to give me any."

Tuesday 12/27/11: ‎"Daddy, Grandma gave me a milk shake for breakfast and told me not to tell you but I'm telling you."

Friday 12/2/11: Peanut, after we told her we DVR'd Belle's Enchanted Christmas: "I'm so excited I drooled!"

So exciting, she drooled.

Saturday 11/26/11: Last night we asked the Peanut if she was having fun here at my sister's house in Virginia: "I don't want to leave. I want to live here."

Thursday 11/10/11: Wife to Peanut: "Are you done in there?" Peanut: "Mommy, I can't poopy if you're talking to me."

Wednesday 11/2/11: I came back from walking Luna to find this neatly arranged assortment of Peanut M&M's on a fashionable fairy plate. My first instinct was to grab one and eat it. Then I realized someone probably knows how many there are, and what color, and there would be hell to pay tomorrow if I did:

Monday 10/31/11: Peanut has a cold today. Or as she put it, "I have a different voice."

Sunday 10/23/11: I'm dressing as a koala bear for Halloween. At breakfast, my wife says, "we still have to find you pants." I said, "Why? Koala bears don't wear pants." Peanut: "Daddy, you HAVE to wear pants."

Thursday 10/13/11: "Daddy I'm tired of school." She's 4. On the bright side, maybe I can stop stressing about how to save for college.

Wednesday 10/12/11: Peanut: "Daddy, may I have more puffs?" Me: Dinner's going to be ready soon. Peanut: "Just a couple. How about 8?"

Monday 10/3/11: Peanut: "Daddy, we're playing Rapunzel. Who do you want to be?" Me: "I want to be Eugene." Peanut: "No you're the king. You're always the king."

Sunday 8/28/11: Peanut has coined a new term: "over flooding."

Friday 8/26/11: "Mommy, Luna's drinking out of my Barbie pool." Me: "Luna, you have no idea what goes on in that pool."

Tuesday August 8/9/11: Just got off the phone with my mom and my wife asks, "What was she giving you a hard time about?"  "Having a second child," I said. (As in, when are we going to?) To which the Peanut responded, "Why would your mother ever do that, Justin?"

Friday 8/5/11: Peanut and I went on the teacups together yesterday. My nephew was spinning our cup uncontrollably. I felt a little "uneasy" afterwards. But the Peanut loved it.
Teacup hysteria
Tuesday 8/2/11: The book Peanut chose for us to read to her at bedtime tonight? "Twas the Night Before Christmas."

Tuesday 7/26/11: Last night the Peanut barged in as I was going to the bathroom (standing). She said, "Daddy you know why your pen!s is silly? Because it's like a waterfall."

Saturday 7/23/11: Our power went out, and we heard a blood curdling scream from upstairs. The peanut was still awake and her night lights went out. My first job was to install new batteries in her Tinkerbell lantern:
(note the screwdriver)

Friday 7/15/11: Just got a progress report on the Peanut's first day back at school since vacation. Apparently, every day she was out a certain boy was asking when she was coming back. Yikes. And it just so happens to be the twin brother of the boy I mention in this post (double yikes):

Thursday 7/14/11: My daughter just instructed me to "shake your little bottom" when we were dancing together.

Wednesday 7/6/11: Took the Peanut on some rides last night. On the way, we passed a place that sells custard. My future sister-in-law asks, "What IS custard?" Peanut: "Custard is Strawberry Shortcake's cat."

Saturday 7/2/11: "Daddy, I don't want to go to swim class." Me: "You know how Popsie taught us to swim? He'd throw us in the pool with nothing on and tell us to swim. And you know what? I became a lifeguard." Peanut: "Daddy I don't want to be a lifeguard."
Now she goes under by herself
Sunday 6/26/11: Daddy, shhhh." Why are you shhh-ing me? "Because mommy doesn't want you to sing." Of course she does. Mommy loves my singing. "No she doesn't." Yes she does. My singing is why mommy married me. "No. She married you because she loves you."

Tuesday 6/21/11: Wife, to daughter: "Why are you naked?" Daughter: "Because I'm marrying Elmo." Wife, to me: "Should we be concerned?" Me: (silence) There are some things I choose to ignore.

Saturday 6/18/11: I came home after a run and she told me, "Daddy you can't play with me until you're not sweaty and you smell nice."

Friday 6/17/11: "Mommy when I sat on your lap I felt your scratchy legs."

Sunday 6/5/11: ‎"One second, daddy." I'm not sure how I feel about 'one second daddy.' "Daddy may you please give me a second?" Better....but no.

Friday 6/3/11: "I want mommy to give me a shower because I love mommy." What about me? "You're chopped liver."

Tuesday 5/24/11: After barging into the bathroom as I was getting out of the shower she shouted, "Daddy, your vagina is yucky." While that makes me feel a little self-conscious and slightly offended, I figure the longer she thinks the male "vagina" is yucky... the better.

Monday 5/23/11: She asked me a question and I said, "I don't know" and she said, "I don't know isn't a good answer." I guess she IS listening to me since that's what I say every time she says "I don't know."

Thursday 5/19/11: Tonight I asked her if she helped mommy clean the playroom. "No, but I keep-id an eye on her."




What is "The Streak?" Click here to read more.