My Mid-Blog Crisis

Perhaps you've noticed. I hope you have, but fear you haven't. It's been a while since I posted here. In fact, I've gone 0-for-October, some of September, and half of November. If a blogger in an infinite sea of them stops blogging, does he make a sound? The answer is a resounding no. But for those of you who are wondering, I do feel the need to explain my absence.

I seem to have hit a wall. There are several reasons. I will try my best to articulate them below. But as one of them is DOUBT, I am no longer sure that I can. Here goes...

Trolls: The internet is crawling with nameless, faceless, spineless cretins who will twist your words, call you names, take you out of context, and not give a shit they're doing it. They disagree with you and degrade you. They call you a bad parent and a worse person. They do it, of course, anonymously. I used to be better at ignoring these people, rising above them, or shutting them up with my own brand of non-anonymous snark. But it's tiring. And unnecessary. I have better things to do.

This is my hobby. It's supposed to be fun. A release. Like running. Except when I'm running, I don't encounter asshole hecklers telling me I'm fat or slow or have bad form or ugly sneakers. If they are there, I don't notice thanks to my earbuds. Good old earbuds. But alas, there are no eyebuds for the internet.

I'm not here to fight. I'm not here to battle the trolls of the web's middle earth. This isn't about having thicker skin. I am the youngest of four in a no-holds-barred loud-mouthed Italian family. I got thick skin. It's about exposing myself and my family to unnecessary ridicule. For a hobby. Because, like my friend recently wrote here, too many people are unwilling and unable to just scroll by something with which they disagree.

Read more ...

You Can't Fix Stupid

I've been having a little fun with the New York Jets' Facebook page recently. You see, I'm sort of a stickler for grammar. (I hold myself to the same standard here on DKL and kick myself when I catch a mistake in a published post.) The reason why I've been having fun with the social media team of my favorite football team is for none other than pure amusement. Few people dislike their favorite sports teams more than I do. When it comes to the Jets, after years of frustration and disappointment with their losing, or coming this close and still losing, or not coming remotely near the neighborhood of close and losing badly while doing so, I've revolted. And the way I do it is by calling them out for grammatical and punctuation errors on their Facebook page. Very passive aggressive, I know.

Last week they posted this image with a misplaced apostrophe on it and I pounced:

Seriously with this? I really hate them.
Or, I hate to LOVE them.

Read more ...

#PayItFoward: Guest Post from I Hope I Win a Toaster

This week I bring you a special edition of #PayItForward. A guest post from one of my favorite bloggers. Bill, who writes a blog called I Hope I Win a Toaster, is a talented writer and stay-at-home dad who I now consider a friend. Talented because he uses real words like "wont" (not the contraction, either) and makes up cool words like "sillily" (as well as the title of the post below.) Perhaps most impressive, he doesn't sound like a tool when he does it like I am sure I would if I tried.

Bill is always thoughtful, often poignant, and consistently funny. He's insightful and self-deprecating. (Sound familiar?) A pure joy to read. In true #PayItForward fashion, he even mentions other bloggers that he admires and follows in this post. Please enjoy and find a way to follow I Hope I Win a Toaster:

Read more ...

#PayItForward: It's a Major Award!

Most Fridays, I will share with you a post from another blog that I find particularly moving, interesting, or funny. They will be posts that fit the DKL mold... ones I think people who read this blog would enjoy. Another blogger I follow started something similar. I also wanted to do this because someone paid it forward to me, giving me tons of new followers. So this is the least I can do...

Today, something completely different. A first-ever here on DKL. We're accepting, and in turn giving, an award... to 11 great bloggers. I've never done one of these award things before. But when  Welcome to Grand Central bestowed the Liebster Award upon me, I decided to make it part of my #PayItForward series. Thanks to WtoGC, a relatively new but thoughtful blogger and loyal and active DKLer, for inspiring me and giving me this award. It's a major award! Like this:

Read more ...

I'm a Rock Star Thanks to @BloggerIdol

It's true. I am a rock star. It has nothing to do with my love of karaoke, my penchant to sing in the shower, or my talent to make a parody out of any song by putting my dog Luna's name in it. It doesn't even have to do with taking My Director to the Awesome 80's Prom for her 30th birthday:

This was 5 years ago.
Yes, that's a Smurf tattoo

No. I am a rock star because Blogger Idol told me so. The motto of this wonderful experience disguised as a writing contest is "writers are the new rock stars." As many of you who have been following DKL from the beginning may remember, this time last year I was knee-deep in Blogger Idol. I had made it to the finale in the first-ever season, only to lose by a handful of votes at the last possible minute. (Not bitter at all. Totally over it. Now please pass me that bottle of Jack Daniels.)

I've made a lot of friends in the blogosphere, forged a lot of relationships, learned a lot of things from a lot of really cool, special, interesting people. Blogger Idol was by far the most unique experience I've ever had in the year and a half since I took DKL public. The weekly challenges were at times frustrating, but mostly invigorating and inspiring. They pushed me as a writer to go places I've never gone before and explore topics I never would have explored. (Uh, there was a vampire week. Random but fun. And my post got top marks from the judges.) I have gained lasting friendships with some great people. My fellow contestants, actually. Roni from The Mommy in Law, Chris at ...from the Bungalow, and Derrick from Dad v. Autism, to name a few.

I'm not going to lie. Winning would have been very cool. But in hindsight, doing it - putting myself out there - was so much more rewarding. I was proud of the work I did, how I presented myself, and how I kept true to myself and the integrity of my blog and my writing.

Now Blogger Idol is back, it's bigger and better. The prizes are amazing. And perhaps most exciting for DKLers, I'm going to be a judge. How cool is that? For now, judge for yourself and check out some of my favorite entries from last year's assigments:

Here is my audition post that convinced the judges to put me into the top 12. The assignment was simple: Why are you the next Blogger Idol? So I drew inspiration from my Grandma Sylvia and told them What I'm Made Of.

In Week 1 of this 12-week journey, we were asked to introduce ourselves to the voters. So I wrote About Being a Dad

When I first saw the assignment for week two, my first reaction was, "Oh. My. God." We had to write about a day in the life as the opposite sex. So I made it an homage to the woman I know the best. Enjoy Freaky Friday.

The post I thought would win me the whole damn thing was a very emotional one I wrote for the finale about The Best Dad I Know.





Auditions begin TODAY. So I urge you to get involved. If you are a blogger looking to get established, to have your writing critiqued by bloggers who are established, and to showcase your writing to a new audience, this is a great opportunity. Follow Blogger Idol on Facebook and Twitter for updates. Even if you don't audition, I urge you to follow because you WILL connect with these contestants. I promise. They all will inspire you when they pour their hearts into their posts. Let the competition begin.

Read more ...

#PayItForward: Thanks a Hundred Thousand, @DaddysinCharge

Most Fridays, I will share with you a post from another blog that I find particularly moving, interesting, or funny. They will be posts that fit the DKL mold... ones I think people who read this blog would enjoy. Another blogger I follow started something similar. I also wanted to do this because someone paid it forward to me, giving me tons of new followers. So this is the least I can do...

My birthday is August 8th. I tell you this not only because it gives you a little less than three weeks to get me something fabulous, but also because that's the date I had targeted to reach 100,000 page views. Once I saw that milestone was in my sights, I thought it would be a cool "gift" to aim for. Turns out, it happened way ahead of schedule. Like this past Tuesday:

Read more ...

I'm No Expert (And Neither Are You)

"Waste no time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." -Marcus Aurelius

There's a word that I think is used too often in the media. And now it's permeating the blogosphere too. That word is "war." As a television news producer, I implore my colleagues not to use that word when describing anything other than an actual war. An argument, a disagreement, a scuffle, even a battle. But not a war. Wars are brutal, ugly, and tragic.

So all of this talk lately about "parenting wars" and "mommy wars" really irritates me. It's insulting to those who actually fight real wars. First off, let's end the "war." Second, let's everybody relax.

Ladies, ladies: you're both smart and hard-working.
And you're both making your kids uncomfortable.

The Hilary Rosen-Ann Romney spat started it. Then came the Time magazine cover meant to shock and awe. (Pardon the war pun.) In discussing these wars spats-at-best, I've seen more and more bloggers and parents calling out each other and being nasty while doing it. And it's not just moms and mommy bloggers. A militant faction of stay-at-home dad bloggers are demanding their due, their place in the parenting hierarchy. Instead of demanding attention, why don't we all just take care of our kids the best we can? Only your children need to know what a good, involved parent you are. Still, if you must, there are ways to disagree with people without being a jerk about it. That may seem ironic coming from a "ready-fire-aim" kind of guy like myself, but I am seeing a level of discourse that is just unproductive and unnecessary.

Usually the loudest people aren't the best leaders. They're just attention seekers. Unfortunately, they get a lot of attention anyway.

Found this gem to illustrate the ridiculousness
of this whole "debate."

One more thing: writing a daddy blog does not make me an expert on parenting. Blogging doesn't make any blogger an expert on anything. Too often I see posts offering parenting tips, or opinions on one way to parent over another. I think this is dangerous and presumptuous. Dangerous because no two children are the same. What works for one probably won't work for another. And I say presumptuous because no one asked you.

Look, I call my blog "Daddy Knows Less" because I DON'T have all the answers. I'm doing this for the first time. I've never had a five year-old daughter before. And if I have one again, I can assure you the same eating, sleeping, and potty training habits won't apply. I am here to share my account of my journey of fatherhood. Not offer help. When WE need help? We turn to our parents, our friends, a doctor. Maybe, but rarely, a book or magazine as a last resort. Inevitably, we go with our gut. Never a freakin' mommy or daddy blog. Please say it isn't so.

Being a dad blogger doesn't make me a good dad either. These are stories. Moments in time. Triumphs and failures. Yes, failures. We all have them as parents, no matter if we breastfeed our kids or not, and for however long. I would say most of us have way more triumphs. But we share the stories of the failures so everyone who reads us knows they are not alone. That we mess up too. (And a lot of times it's funny.)

Maybe a story about a failure inspires a conversation that ends up helping someone. But a blogger shouldn't preach. We should document, share, and engage. And we shouldn't judge or blast each other for our parenting styles or choices. Especially if someone is doing their best for their child.

Leave the advice to the professionals. Let's build a community where bloggers and readers can share their experiences. Leave wars to real soldiers.

Read more ...

Turning Off and Tuning In

I sat in a pizza place one Sunday evening, waiting for my order to be ready. On the other side of the restaurant, I spotted a dad and his young son. The boy couldn’t have been more than two or three years-old. I assume they were waiting for their dinner as well. The little boy was cute and curious. He didn't appear to be doing anything you might consider out of control. Yet all I heard was the dad correcting him, telling him to sit properly, to be quiet. To each his own, I thought. He wants to be stern with his kid, that's his choice. But every time this dad spoke to his son, he had to tear his eyes away from his iPhone. When he was finished parenting, he would quickly glance back down.

A few days before that, I was standing in line at CVS, waiting to pay. I saw another dad engrossed in his iPhone as his two children – a boy and a girl - stood about five feet away from him eating a pack of M&M’s. We've all been there. Throw a snack at them to keep them quiet. But I heard the little girl, who was maybe four, call her dad’s name. Her attempt to get his attention fell on deaf ears. Whatever had filled his inbox was much more important.

I don’t like to judge other parents. I'd rather give everyone the benefit of the doubt. What works for you might not necessarily work for me. But in all honestly, it bothered me so much because that used to be me. I was that guy. These dads - and me before them - are just a few in a sea of distracted parents who are missing opportunities to engage and enlighten their children. Knowing I was that guy, watching other parents do it is heartbreaking and frustrating.

They're all off

About a month ago, My Director and I talked about going hands-free around Peanut. Especially during those two precious hours we have with her every night during the week. Turn off our phones. No laptop or iPad. Shortly after we talked about it, almost serendipitously, we found the blog of Hands Free Mama. She's started a movement, urging parents to tune out the technology and tune in to their children. We were on board after reading this post, where she lists the ways you can miss a childhood. The one that really hit home for me: checking your blackberry at a red light while your child sits in the backseat watching you.

What going hands free has done, more important than actually talking to Peanut, is force us to listen to her. When we're done listening, we respond. We have a conversation. That email, that game of Angry Birds, that tweet can wait. As hard as it has been for me to admit, the world can wait for my witty retort to someone's status update. It’s so trivial compared to what Peanut is saying, asking, wondering.

Technology is not worth interrupting my time with Peanut. She deserves more than two hours. But that’s all she gets right now; so she's going to get my undivided attention. If you include commuting and wireless communication, work gets me for at least twelve hours a day. That’s plenty. Everything can wait until Peanut is tucked away in bed.

I must admit, it's not easy. But at the same time, it's wonderfully liberating. Eye-opening, even. And Peanut notices. She's happy. Content. She is getting what she deserves: all of us.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit there are slip-ups. I’m just sharing what I consider a revelation. An awakening from a tech junkie who can very well become consumed with Facebook, Twitter, email, and blogging. But not at the expense of my daughter. Not at the expense of what she considers important. Not anymore. What she wants to do, and talk about, is what matters most. Even if she's vegging out on the couch watching Doc McStuffins after school, I am right there with her. Singing, commenting, engaging. The laptop safely tucked away, no longer on my lap.

One day Peanut will look back at her childhood. She’ll remember the big things, of course. And she’ll remember some little things as well. I just want to make sure she remembers her dad was watching her and not consumed by the glow of a little screen.

Read more ...

A Very Good Year

I've dedicated posts to My Director, my dad, my mom, Luna, even my swagger wagon and of course the Peanut. But this post is dedicated to you, the loyal reader/follower/fan of DKL, without whom I wouldn't have enjoyed a fraction of the success I've had. Every day, you amaze me. Every day. So thank you.

We'll Cross Many Bridges Together...

Just to put in perspective how far you've taken DKL and how fast: in February, DKL had 187 page hits total for the month. In December, it averaged more than that per DAY. Earlier this month, we passed 50,000 page hits all-time. In less than a year. Wow. The Facebook page launched in April and as of now has more than 1,110 likes. Awesome. Not to mention more than 600 Twitter followers since May. Nice. All from virtually nothing. All because of you.

In March, I decided to really enter the blogosphere and finally publicize DKL outside of my family and friends. It started when I entered the Circle of Moms top 25 daddy blogs contest, and came in 12th. Not bad for a blog with very little following outside of people I know. Even though it was exhausting to keep asking for votes, I decided to enter the first ever Blogger Idol a couple of months later. DKL was chosen to be in the top 12. And your votes every week got me to the finale, where I was narrowly defeated.

But Blogger Idol didn't put DKL on the map nearly as much as Nikki from Moms Who Drink And Swear has. Many of you found me through her. There is no way for me to adequately thank her, or repay her. She even wrote a post about my blog, which was perhaps the nicest thing someone who is not married to me has ever written about me.

In case you've missed anything since March, I have assembled a list of posts that sum up the year pretty well. This list is unique because it is not simply a "best of." After all, how could I choose the best when I love all of my posts equally? Instead, I chose posts based on specific categories that appear in a blog chain that a few bloggers I follow have participated in.

Enjoy, and thanks so much for reading:

I'M MOST PROUD OF: Does Daddy Know Less? No question about it. This is the post My Director wrote for my birthday. It's the only gift I asked for. She did it... reluctantly. And boy did she deliver. You'd never know she's neither a writer nor has any interest in blogging. This post was just awesome to me in so many ways. Best birthday gift ever.

MOST BEAUTIFUL: My One and Only You: This was the post I wrote for My Director's birthday. I was inspired by two words she always seems to use when she's leaving me a voicemail.

DIDN'T GET THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES: 9/11: A Constant Reminder There are several that could have fallen into this category. But I chose this one, because of the subject matter. I understand you're indundated with material on the topic when the anniversary comes around. But I list this one because it's the first and probably the only time I will write about it on this blog. And the "reminder" I talk about is my biggest professional accomplishment. But never say never. And never forget.

SUCCESS SURPRISES ME: Dude Where's My Car? This was the first post ever inspired from a question by one of my readers. One of my friends told me one day that he and some other people I know were wondering how My Director and I manage as two working parents in the suburbs with just one car. This post about the swagger wagon was my top one of all-time for about a month, and in the top ten for a while.

MOST CONTROVERSIAL: The End of the Innocence: I chose not to list one of my rants here because most of those who commented on them agreed with me. This post is significant because it's the first that Nikki shared with her massive following, putting me on the proverbial map. I put it in the "controversial" category because of some of the not-so-friendly comments some of the MWDAS posted on Facebook. One woman called me a "whiney vagina." What can I say? I write what I feel. And on this day, I was feeling sensitive, deep, schmaltzy, and protective.

MOST HELPFUL: Finding Nemo: This is a tough category since I don't do tips or advice. So I'm sharing one of my favorite posts, in which I describe a moment where I was particularly helpful to the Peanut and My Director.

MOST POPULAR: Dude Looks Like a Lady: Chances are, you've read this one. Two words sum it up: "Ken's mangina." Shared more than 1,200 times on Facebook and received nearly 10,000 page views. That's what we call viral by DKL standards. Funny thing about this post? It was my wife's idea. Behind every great man...


So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making 2011 a great year for DKL. The first true year it was in the blogosphere. You keep reading, liking, sharing, and commenting, I'll keep writing. I'd probably keep writing either way, but it's a lot more fun with you as involved as you are.

Wishing you a great 2012. Looking forward to sharing a lot more stories.


I know... there are a lot of links in this post. A lot. Of course you don't have to read all of them. My hope is you check out a couple that you might have missed. Thanks, DKL.

Read more ...

Keeping It Real

Today we have a guest post from The Daddy Yo Dude. He's one of the first bloggers I connected with when I joined the Twitterverse a few months ago, and we've become good friends. He's a hard-working dad whose passion for his family clearly comes through in his writing. Like me, he is big on building a passionate, involved, fun community through blogging. Here, he's issuing a challenge to all bloggers out there. Enjoy, check out the Dude's blog, and embrace his challenge:

You hear it online all the time when it comes to bloggers. So-and-so says they like so-and-so because they are "real". Maybe you have received a comment on a post that drew only one response: “Thanks, I’m just trying to keep it real.” Generally speaking, and I speak for myself on this, a response like that is a little on the generic side. Typically the post is genuine, albeit one written to draw the views. I can admit to that on several occasions.

I was asked this question in an email a few days ago: “Do you live the life that you blog, or do you live the script that you blog?” At first I didn’t quite understand it. I started reading through some of my bookmarked blogs and came to this very site. That then led me to the Blogger Idol site and a post of Justin’s that I had judged. The number one reason I enjoy Daddy Knows Less is because it does not have that “generic” real feel. What I get from Justin’s writing is a core sense of who he is, on many levels. That is what makes him so real to me when I read his posts.

I finally had my answer to the question in that email. “Do I live the life that I blog, or do I live the script that I blog?" The answer is both. I write about a lot of different things in some weeks. It may be funny, it may be sad, it may be abstract. I don’t limit myself when I write for enjoyment. I write because I am. What you read on my blog, is what you would see if you were my neighbor.

The flipside to this is what blogging gives back to me. Often, while proofreading a post, I will have an “aha” moment. I have even had an experience that I read what I didn’t remember writing. I'll see something in what I wrote, and the whole thing takes on a new meaning. I have had revelations that have changed me, because the words I wrote became a mirror of who I am. I write because I am.

That is the realness that I connect to the most online. It connects to me in a different way than other blogs. These blogs, and there are a lot of them, are where real people are really, keeping it real (if you can send me a recording of you saying that 5 times fast, I’ll send you a bumper sticker.) They are written by real people, with real feelings, and they strike a certain chord that connects you on a more personal level. I bet if you asked them the same question, you would get a similar answer.

Where does this post lead up to today? I want to issue a challenge to any blogger who reads this post today. A challenge aimed at getting people to open up more, and be real. Sure, you may write for an audience if that’s your intent. But just try writing for yourself. Take one post a week. Or less, if that’s not possible. Take a situation that really made your gears grind, analyze it in a real way, and write it in a real way. How did it start? What were the exact thoughts going through your head? What was the end result? Write it from your core and lay it out there for people to read. Be you, not your online you.

Share the posts with me on Twitter or Facebook after they go up. Let me see that there are people out there who still know who they are at all times. In a world that flies by full of plastic handshakes and fresh off the printing press conversations, we should all just take a moment to be ourselves, know ourselves, and be comfortable with ourselves. Maybe then we can all make it a point to just keep it real with each other.

Read more ...

The Write Stuff

This was my week 4 assignment for Blogger Idol 2011: "Why do you write/what does it mean to you?"

Why do I write? That's like asking why I breathe. I can't help but to write. I need it to survive.

Writing is my catharsis. I want to let out my aggravations to put them behind me.

When I witness something out of the ordinary, or I find something extraordinary in the ordinary, I need to write about it. Whether I am happy or sad, angry or frustrated, writing is my outlet. I want to share my joys and document them forever. 

Nothing can stop me from writing

I need to see it written. Sometimes my hands can't type fast enough. That's how passionate I am about writing.

And yes, I want to become a blogger with a huge following and ink a book deal and all of that. So, there is part of me that does it for some kind of validation. To stay relevant at least to a modest group of followers in this gigantic world. Maybe I think what I have to say matters. That it might make someone's day or change someone's perspective.

I am also grossly self-absorbed, needy, and narcissistic. This is also why I write. 

Sometimes your writing won't be received the way you wanted it to be, the way you expected it to be. These times are borderline devastating.

On the other hand, when a piece that you're not crazy about gets rave reviews, it's exhilarating.

Good or bad, there is no time I feel more vulnerable as a writer than when I know one of my pieces is out there being read for the first time.

I experience this every day, not only in my writing, but also in my job as a television news producer. I am fortunate that I get to do a lot of writing at work. I challenge myself to be funny, or interesting, or both. I want to captivate my audience. I want to compel them to sit through that three and a half minute commercial because you absolutely have to find out the one thing you need to leave at home if you're traveling with a child this summer. (Don't worry, the answer is at the bottom.)

There are times when I think I've nailed something I wrote for my show, and in the commercial break my anchor will look into the camera and simply say, "that didn't make any sense." And I want to jump through the screen from my seat in the control room and smack him. But maybe he's right. Sometimes he is.

The beauty of writing, and of working in television news, is that there is always another piece to write or another show to produce tomorrow. So it's non-stop. You're always getting another chance.

It's also so subjective. The same amount of people can love and hate this piece. I want to high five the people who love it and ask them what they loved about it. I want to shake the people who hate it by the lapels and ask them what they hated about it. I want to try again, harder, for both groups tomorrow.

Writing is a part of me. As a boy I would go on adventures with my imaginary friends. As a teenager I would write song parodies to "Piano Man" based on our drunken escapades on the weekends. I've written wedding vows and eulogies. When I finally decided to propose to my wife, I wrote her a poem that contained a scavenger hunt that led to me with the engagement ring. I now write my wife blog posts instead of birthday cards. And I take the two or three lines that I write in a wedding card, a graduation card, a sympathy card very seriously. I want it to be memorable.

As for the one thing you need to leave at home when you're traveling with a child this summer: it's the word "no." I wrote about that here.

Writing. It's what I do.

Read more ...

What I'm Made of (My Blogger Idol Audition)

"You have to grow up straight." -Words of wisdom from my Grandma Sylvia, who would always emphasize that last word and use her crooked, arthritis-riddled finger to illustrate her point. Just to be clear, she wanted me to grow up strong, confident, and with a good head on my shoulders. She was not referring to anyone's lifestyle.

I slowly walked to the door. It was open, but I still knocked lightly on the frame. My grandmother laid there on her hospital bed. She turned her head. She was so weak at this point she couldn't move much. I asked her, "you want me to come in?" She smiled gently and nodded her head yes as little as she needed to.

I bent over and kissed her and told her I loved her, knowing this would probably be the last time I ever saw her. She was a little hard-boiled, but I always managed to make her smile. And just by showing up, I made her smile this one last time.

Grandma Sylvia. "Sealie" is what I affectionately called her. She had a saying when you were feeling sorry for yourself. "What are you made of sh!t?" She would bark it through her raspy, nicotine stained smoker's voice. You had no choice but to answer "no."

And that's why I am entering Blogger Idol. For Sealie. Because not only am I NOT made of sh!t, I am in it to win the whole damn thing. Why not me? I am constantly attached to my laptop, iPad, or blackberry... blogging, tweeting, or Facebooking. I am the daddy blogger who blogs while shirking his duties as a husband and father. No, not really. But I do blog from the bathroom, tweet at weddings, and I'm on Facebook while walking the dog.

Perhaps, since "writers are the new rock stars (as the Blogger Idol motto goes)," you're looking for a diva. Well, just call me Whitney Houston. But not the coked up Whitney. I'm talking about the belting-out-her-amazing-cover-of  "I Will Always Love You," I-demand-a-Tiffany-glass-full-of-fresh-spring-water-at-room-temperature-in-my dressing-room Whitney.

Seriously, if you read my blog, you know that I am honest, raw, and real. I take my experiences as a husband and a father, and spin them into gold. Anyone who is a dad, has a dad, loves a dad, or knows a dad could enjoy it. My goal is to make you laugh, cry, and think... not necessarily in that order, and not necessarily all at once. I tried to do it in the brief amount of time I had in this entry.

And in all honesty, Sealie's dying wish was that one day I would win an internet writing competition. Even though she died in 1989, and the internet hadn't taken off yet, I told her I'd do it. Because I'm not made of sh!t. (See what I did there?)

Don't miss out on any of the Blogger Idol action. Click here to follow, audition, or get involved.

Read more ...

Calling a Time Out

"Slow down, ya move too fast. You've got to make the mornin' last" - Simon & Garfunkel

The internet is an amazing place. I always assumed that. Deep down, I always knew that.

But now... I've experienced it. As a result, I've become consumed by it. And now, I need to take a step back. Deep breath. Relax.

And get back to basics.

I started this blog more than four years ago. Two months before my daughter was born. I had all of these emotions churning inside of me. Emotions I had no idea what to do with. I'm the kind of guy who keeps his emotions - the real emotions - inside until they burst out like a volcano.

Then I started to blog. I blogged about my self-doubt, my frustration, my triumphs, my failures, my fears, my father not being here. I blogged about my beautiful baby girl, my amazing wife. I made people laugh, cry, and think. And I felt a lot better.

But those people I shared this with were mostly my family and friends, my co-workers. People I knew. That was my primary intention. To share her growth, her stories, pictures... with them. I wasn't seeking publicity... at first. If it happened... bonus.

Then everything changed in late March. I stumbled upon a top 25 daddy blog contest and saw some of the blogs that were entered and thought, meaning no offense to my fellow daddy bloggers, "Mine is just as good if not better than a lot of these." I saw an opportunity. Time to see where this could go. I finished in the top 25. That was my ultimate goal. To place. With my humble following of family and friends... to place, I thought, was enough.

But it wasn't.

Now I had new eyeballs. New followers. People were commenting. Good comments. Another dad, himself an aspiring blogger, called me an inspiration for crying out loud. I then realized what I as an insecure, narcissistic, self-absorbed writer always hoped and sort of knew all along: my stuff was good, and if I publicized it, I could become big. Or at least bigger.

So I dove right in... starting a Facebook page, opening a Twitter account, posting more in a six week period than I ever have before. It was working. It felt good. I set up a meeting with a social media coordinator because I really have no idea what I'm doing.

And then... it happened...

What I'm calling my "Lord of the Flies" moment... a popular mommy blogger posted one of my stories (one of my shmaltzier stories) to her Facebook page. She had roughly 150,000 Facebook followers at the time. And it just exploded. I had thousands of page hits over the next few days. Clearly, more than ever. Comments pouring in like never before. My Facebook following more than tripled.

Some of the comments weren't kind. One woman said I needed a feminine hygiene product for my whiny female reproductive organ. Funny now... but there were dozens like that. I was excited and terrified at the same time.

This was it... it was happening.

My first concern: Am I exposing my daughter and my wife to any danger? I can take negative press. I work in television. You develop thick skin. I'm used to it. But if I think for one minute that I was jeopardizing the safety or well-being of my family in any way, I would shut this site down immediately.

I was terrified again. Just like before I started to blog, before I became a dad. Because I wasn't ready. Wasn't ready... for prime time. There was so much I had intended to do before this happened.

For example, last night I finally started using Twitter. Reaching out to other daddy bloggers who've been in the spotlight longer than I have. These are all guys like me: dads who love their kids, are so passionate about them that it comes out of their fingertips into beautiful, funny, heart-warming stories. They're good guys and I look forward to continued interaction and new friendships with them.

But I need their help.

I feel like everything happened so quickly and all I'm doing is hounding my friends and family... the people who have loved and admired and enjoyed my blog for more than four years... to follow me when all they've been doing is following me from the beginning.

My wife says I should just let them come... she uses the word "organically." And she's not talking about going to Whole Foods and dropping $6 bucks a pound on broccoli. As always, she's my biggest supporter. She says I have to let this happen naturally. And she's right.

A popular mommy blogger reading my stuff and sharing it with her massive following... that's natural.

A lot of what I've been doing is not.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly... I don't want to be glued to my blackberry or my iPad or my laptop all day. I don't want to be tweeting from my daughter's dance class, birthday party, or day care covered dish dinner. Not passing judgment on those who do... but that's just not me. I don't want the blogger to overshadow the daddy. I don't want to be hitting refresh every ten minutes to see how many page views I've gotten. I want to sit down with my daughter and do a puzzle, color, pretend.

I want to write something only when it comes to me... only when it's good enough... because that's what you expect.

Not to mention, my demanding, stressful, full-time job. It's also something I am passionate about, something I'm good at... and it pays the bills.

Eventually, I do want to be a writer full-time. But it's not going to happen overnight, in the next month, or the next year for that matter. And I haven't really written much in the past couple of weeks... which is frustrating... because I'm consumed with this other stuff.

I just wanted to call a time out... let you know that I'm thinking the same things many of you loyal-from-the-beginning followers may be thinking. I'm doing too much too fast. I might be getting in over my head. I'm a very good swimmer... but one can only tread water for so long.

To ALL of my followers: by no means am I going away. I am going to be writing just as much as I have in the past. And I promise it will be filled with the same heart, humor, and insight you've come to expect. But I have to be me. And I have to do it only as much as my daughter, my wife, my job, my life allows.

They all come first. The daddy comes first... way before the blogger.

Read more ...