Sunroof to My Soul

“Too much knowledge makes the head bald.” – Russian proverb


I am about to address the third rail of blog topics. For me at least. I've touched on politics. Once. I've even mentioned religion from time to time. But never before have I discussed this. It's a serious topic for me. So just know that as you read on, you are witnessing and participating in a groundbreaking, earth-shattering, never-before-seen moment on DKL.

Mainly because I was in denial, and mostly unaware. I was ignoring the obvious and inevitable. But I am ready to talk about it now. So here goes... I am losing my hair.

There. I said it.

Yes, I am going bald. Until recently, I really had no idea how bad it was. That the top of my head looks liked a patch of burned grass that got too much sun during a heatwave. How could I know? I NEVER look up there. Denial.

I had my awakening after we had a family photo shoot in Central Park with a professional photographer. I'd never seen pictures of the top of my head until he emailed us the link with the proofs and saw this:

When the hell did that happen?! And why didn't this photographer try to get better shots of me... with hair? He couldn't shoot my good side?! (I kid, of course. The photographer was great.)

I remember watching some home movies a few years ago and a guy came into the shot. His back was to the camera but you could plainly see he had the start of what eventually would become a bald spot on his skull. Just a little dollop of nothingness. "Who's that guy who's going bald?" I mocked. HOLY CRAP IT WAS ME. And that was at least seven years ago.

My how far we've come....

In times like this, I find solace in the Peanut's perspective even though My Director has told me she thinks bald is sexy. (What else is she going to say?) The Peanut knows no different, actually. To her, I've always been this way. When she was a baby, no older than two years old, we were wrestling around on the floor. Toddler Peanut climbed on my back. I felt her stop. I felt her thinking. I felt her tiny finger tapping on top of my head.

"Daddy, why is there no hair right there?"

"Well some boys' brains keep growing even when they get big. And when their brains grow so much it pushes the hair out of the top of their head. Daddy is so smart, he's losing his hair up there to make room for his big brain." (I thought that was pretty clever off the top of my head - pun intended.)

Peanut thought for a moment then said dismissively, "That's silly, daddy."

It is silly to worry about these things. My dad was bald. Both grandfathers. My brother. Most of my first cousins. It's apparently a thing in my family. So I must accept it. But I won't go down without a fight:

$30 for a 4-month supply of the generic at Costco

If (when) I reach that hideous "hair island" stage by the time I turn 40 (three years from now), we're having a head-shaving party. Then again, My Director says I won't look good shaved because I "have a funny-shaped head." Nice. Another thing to worry about that I can't control.

I went through a similar awakening when I started wearing eyeglasses almost three years ago.