Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Newlywed Game

"I love you more today than yesterday; but not as much as tomorrow." -From the song by Spiral Staircase, which I quoted in my wedding vows. 

When does the so-called "honeymoon period" really end? Some say as quickly as three months. I've always gone with two years. That is, after all, when you're no longer a newlywed according to the genius creators of the classic game show The Newlywed Game. If you remember, couples were only eligible to appear on the show to answer questions about where they "make whoopee" if they had been married for two years or less.

Bob Eubanks was a master
Well, I'm here to debunk the myth and rewrite the record books. You're still a newlywed for much longer than two years. (Assuming you're still married, of course.) You can return from your honeymoon, buy a home, change jobs, get a dog, and have a baby. You can gain all the weight back that you lost to look good in your wedding pictures. You're still a newlywed. So what milestone marks the beginning of your life as an oldywed?

When you have to start replacing the gifts you received for your wedding.

That's right. Over the past few months, My Director and I have had to let go of and replace some of the items we were so excited to scan with that little radar gun in the aisles of Macy's and Crate & Barrel ten years ago. Ten years. We will celebrate a decade of marriage in December. I still feel young and in love. I love My Director just as much if not more than I did that chilly December day we said our vows in Pennsylvania.

Sadly, however, we are no longer newlyweds. All because we have bright new fluffy bath towels. All because we've replaced our pots and pans, the ones with the poisonous peeling Teflon, with new stainless steel ones. Somehow our original silverware started disappearing. Forks and spoons mysteriously escaping like wayward socks. The last straw? Our toaster oven stopped toasting. How depressing:
Goodbye, old friend
I'll remember the toaster oven fondly. The bagels, the waffles, the tuna melts. Good times. The honeymoon may be over. But the love is still hot as ever.

I get a bit more nostalgic when it comes to getting rid of Peanut's things. Like I did with the stroller here.

26 comments:

  1. Oldyweds. That's awesome! I'll be using that one but I won't be using the microwave that died last week.

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    Replies
    1. RIP, microwave. We'll remember your popcorn and leftovers fondly. Oldyweds unite!

      Delete
  2. Well I guess after 17 years I am an oldywed, Hub and I had a microwave that lasted all that time. Just had to replace it recently. Yes it lasted that long, I just hope the new one last half that long !!!!

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    Replies
    1. That's an impressive run. Here's to 17 more... and 17 more after that, and so on...

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  3. Love this one! I am working on a similar post, in honor of my anniversary.
    What is with the silverware? This is a problem that has PLAGUED me! I cannot keep spoons and forks! They disappear into thin air, I swear. I have more butter knives than I know what to do with but spoons and forks are a rare commodity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have more kids than I do... you might want to ask them. ;-)

      I'm convinced we were accidentally throwing them out when we were cleaning up after dinner in our exhausted haze. That's my theory.

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    2. We are ripping out the front and back lawns of our home. Last summer I found SIX spoons in the dirt. And suddenly I know where all my silverware goes.... out the door with the boys for digging in the dirt.

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  4. I am a newlywed, we were married last August. However, I still have some of the appliances that I got for my FIRST wedding in 96.

    So I guess I am a divorced, newlywed with good appliances.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I still have some crap that has yet to come out of boxes from my wedding. I don't think I will ever use that ugly ass Mikasa picture frame.

    We have lost one glass and broken two plates... but there are a lot of spoons missing.

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    Replies
    1. Where do the spoons go? Honestly... it's crazy.

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  6. We eloped so no wedding presents. My kids are late teens and just heard this info and about died. Maybe we should do a "redo" and have them give us gifts. Paybacks and all ;)

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    1. Your kids should throw you an anniversary party with lots of gifts.

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  7. I'm going to pop a cork and toast you and your director tonight. I hope you have a long, hot marriage as oldyweds. Oldywed season is better than newlywed season because it usually lasts much, much longer. I wish you lots of love and happiness as you embark (or should I say continue?) on this new phase of marriage.

    P.S. Enjoy the new and shiny appliances!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It's been a wonderful couple of weeks with the new toaster oven. Luxurious.

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  8. I'm showing this to my wife because I think its time she knows its ok to throw away the last piece of our wedding cake in the freezer...from 2000.

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    Replies
    1. Doesn't she have pictures of the cake from when it was actually edible? Get rid of it!

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  9. Found you at the blog hop. Looking forward getting some blog on from a dad's perspective. Go you!! Check my page out when you have time....

    ReplyDelete
  10. Found you at the blog hop. I'm also looking forward reading from a dad's perspective. Way to go!

    ReplyDelete
  11. The disappearin silverware is horrible. I think we have 5 spoons left for our family and I have to wash them after every single meal because I refuse to buy brand new silverware. Luckily, my kids feel pretty comfortable eating with their fingers so we should be OK for a while longer.
    Found you at the TGIF Blog Hop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't understand the disappearing silverware. Where could it possibly go? The garbage is my theory.

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  12. I have then been an "oldywed" almost 5 years. We were just talking about how every 15 years you should get to have a "yay you are still married" shower. We need nice new things too. We deserve it!!! Great post and thanks for joining us!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be great. A perpetual wedding registry! We deserve it. ;-)

      Delete

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