Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Defining Love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1Corinthians 13:4-7

We clean up nicely
My Director, Peanut, and I were blessed to witness and be a big part of my brother-in-law's wedding this past weekend. He is the little brother I never had. (And as I often joke with him, never really wanted.) But of course that's not true. Truth is, My Director's brother is one of the kindest, most genuine, loving, forgiving, and thoughtful people I know. So is his bride. I guess it runs in the family because My Director is the same way.

She and I gave what amounts to the sermon at the ceremony. We spoke about love, mostly their love. We opened it with the passage I quoted above. While working on our remarks, I reflected on the love My Director and I share. I may be one of the few guys who is willing to admit that he enjoys wedding ceremonies. I do because they allow me to remember being up there, telling the world that I love this person and will honor and cherish her for the rest of my life. They remind me of our love. How we've endured, grown, evolved over nearly fifteen years together; nearly ten of them married. How we're still just as in love as we were when we first met, if not more. 

So on this happy occasion, here are some of my thoughts on love:

Love is giving yourself to another person. Your whole self. Love is not holding back.

Love is walking around naked in front of your partner without fear of judgment or embarrassment.

Love is carrying someone when they are not at their best.

Love is not telling them they're not at their best, just understanding and knowing and doing everything you can to help them through it.

Love is being the stronger person when your partner is hurting. Love is taking their sh1t no matter what it is because you know they are struggling. And it breaks your heart to see them like that.

Love is not bringing it up when they are better. 

Love is not expecting anything in return, except love.

Love is not keeping score.

Love is laughing, all of the time. Laughing until it hurts in the good times. Laughing until you cry in the bad times.

Love is having a bad day but forgetting about it when you get home because she's maybe having a worse one.

Love is sacrificing. 

Love is doing things you don't want to do, acting like you normally might not act, because it will make her happy.

Love is revolving most of your autumn Sundays around what time the Jets are playing, because your irrational husband is a fanatic. But it makes him happy.

Love is not complaining when you're done cleaning the kitchen and you finally sit down to watch some television and your wife is enjoying that day's General Hospital on DVR. (Because you know most fall Sundays are all about the J-E-T-S.)

Love is saying "Coxsackie" when you pass the sign for that town's exit on the New York State Thruway because you know your husband is a big child and it makes him giggle:

(cock*SACK*ee) Makes me laugh every time.
Love is knowing without asking.

Love is doing without checking first.

Love is saying "No problem" when all you want to say is, "Are you kidding me?!"

Love is rising to the occasion.

Love is saying you're sorry.

Love is fixing it so there isn't a next time.

Love will surprise you.

Love will also make you wonder why you're so surprised.

Love is being happy just being together.

Love isn't easy. It's work. That's why it's so worth it.

Love is infinite.

Love is proof that everything happens for a reason. Here's our proof. 

32 comments:

  1. Love is also a verb. Beautiful post.

    There is a sign around our parts for "Big Bone Lick State Park" that makes me laugh every time. (Coxsacie, God that's funny.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ooohhh... good point re: "verb." "Love" it. hahaha. And I'm pretty sure we're pronouncing "Coxsackie" wrong. But I don't care.

      Delete
    2. The locals pronounce it "kook-socky". Not sure why, it's probably an approximation of a Native American word. Great post!

      Delete
    3. Thank you! Makes sense. We're gonna keep our little joke anyway. ;-)

      Delete
    4. We passed Kentucky Amusement Park this weekend and the sign read, "KY Amusement Park"... my husband laughed for 5 minutes, then asked if we could turn around and check it out!

      Delete
    5. More like 'cook-socky', it may not seem like much of a difference, but it's how the emphasis is on the 'o'. And that's my exit.

      Delete
    6. @Anon: Love is turning around to see it again!

      @Mouse: I knew we weren't pronouncing it right. Thanks for the clarification. (Doesn't ruin it though. )

      Delete
  2. Love is pretty powerful stuff. It can bring you to the highest highs and the lowest lows, but in the end, having loved is better than never having loved at all. (sorry, that was totally cheesy)

    Great post. After reading it I called my wife to say, "I love you."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your cheesy quote is right on, though. And the fact that this post inspired you to call your wife is the highest compliment.

      Delete
  3. Congratulations on making a special day even more so! I always bristled at the "Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry" quote that people threw around years ago from Love Story. To me, Love means saying you're sorry sincerely and without resentment. I like your list of all the things love is and does and can be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I'd say a genuine "sorry" is crucial to any relationship. Thank you for your kind words.

      Delete
  4. Lovely post. Seriously, it is always good to read something so positive to help me remember how good I've got it.

    Coxsackie - I will always remember this place. There's a few gems like that around here too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks man. Sometimes these kind of posts are necessary, ya know?

      And as for Coxsackie: there's also a town we pass in Vermont called "Hoosick." And My Director and I do a little Abbott and Costello routine with it.
      "Hoosick?"
      "I don't know, are YOU sick?"
      "I'm not sick. Who's sick?"

      The crazy conversations you have during a 4 hour car ride to the middle of nowhere.

      Delete
  5. Because I don't *love" you like that, but I do LOVE this blog, I can point out a little typo.
    "... And it breaks your *hurt* to see them like that."

    Then again, it's kind of perfect as it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Fixed! It's amazing that I could read a post 10 times before I hit publish and still miss that stuff. So glad you liked it anyway. ;-)

      Delete
  6. Oh this is lovely. I LOVE LOVE! romantic, sloppy, sometimes irrational, belly laughing love. I apologized to my husband the other night when I knew I wasn't wrong. THAT, is love to me. For the better of us, I stop being so stubborn. SO happy you got to have such a great and loving experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laughter is such a big part of our love, and our relationship. And so is apologizing for stuff you're not really sorry for...but only after we bicker for far too long. ;-p

      Delete
  7. Fantastic. Just sent this to my husband - love IS a verb, a choice, a deliberate intentional act.

    And, living with three boys (two small, one large), I am subject to their cacophony of bodily noises, daily. I need to laugh more and turn my nose up (or hold it) less - thanks for reminding me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing, and for following.

      Delete
  8. Love is a many splendored thing... It's the April rose. It's sticking with a basketball team knowing that something bad is going to happen to derail all hopes at a National Title. Love. It's the one thing that conquers all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love is letting go 2 months after that crap game ended what should have been a championship season. Love is acceptance.

      Delete
  9. Great post! Love is *so much more* than just a feeling. After some rough times in my young marriage, it's awesome to see so much of my hubbs & I in this... a great confidence boost.

    The Coxackie part definitely made me laugh... for us it's every time we drive down to Disneyland, and have a maturity fail going past the Nutwood exit X'D (it's always good to laugh together).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you were able to relate so closely. The response to this post as been so amazing. Thanks for being a part of it.

      And yes... seems a lot of us have our own "Coxsackie" moments. :-)

      Delete
  10. If you were to take that exit, you would come up rt81 and meet areas called Climax, Surprise, and Result.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I totally laughed at Coxsackie too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awesome post :) bit sad though, it made me realise that I have the exact opposite of love and it's the kid that keeps me here... oh well, better luck will find me in my next life :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry to hear that. Love can come in different forms for different people I guess. Hang in there. Keep loving that kid!

      Delete
  13. Love this of course!! Love is such a fabulous thing, paired with a sense of humor, the sky is the limit!! Thanks for joining us this week, and for some reason I had never clicked the follow button. That has since been rectified!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading and following! Glad you "loved" the post.

      Delete
  14. Beautifully written...thank you. My partner and I strive to focus on this scripture everyday and especially when we find ourselves becoming frustrated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's wonderful. Thanks for you kind words.

      Delete

Share

Widgets

THE STREAK IS ALIVE!



What is "The Streak?" Click here to read more.