THE PEANUT GALLERY: Small Moments

Peanut came home from school yesterday with a stack of her writing work. Over the past few months, she and her classmates have been working on writing about "Small Moments." Here's how her teacher described the assignment:

"We taught the children to value tiny moments from their lives. We taught them that as writers we hold these moments in our minds and hearts, then we make a story about them."

Basically, for the past two months, Peanut has been doing in class what her dad has been doing on this blog since two months before she was born. I thought that was pretty cool.

Here are some of my favorite highlights:

"I was going to the American Girl doll store."
I love how she spells American: "uy mirikin." And how she
went there in a motor home with duck lips.

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How the Fur Flies

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." -E.E. Cummings


Parenthood is full of epiphanies. Those moments when you realize your limitations as a parent, or your child's limitations as whatever they are trying to become. And then there are the epiphanies worth writing about. The moments when you realize that all of your hard work, all of your worry, all of your sleep deprivation and financial struggles are worth it. This is a story about one of those moments.

Peanut wore a new jacket to school last Thursday. The zipper on her regular jacket broke off when she was outside playing the day before. You know how kids get attached to certain things, and particular pieces of clothing? Well despite an outerwear wardrobe that would make Diana Ross blush, she chooses to wear the same jacket every day. Thus, the tired zipper.

My half-Italian leopard-print princess

Her backup jacket is this snazzy pink leopard-print number with a fur-lined hood. It goes without saying, but just for clarity's sake, my mom is the one who got her this coat. I think my mom may have a matching one.

Peanut didn't protest the change. She likes this jacket just fine. But she told me a story about how one of her friends at school had a negative reaction to it. "Daddy, (so-and-so) felt the fur and she said "Ewww." This was no political statement about fur or, in this case, faux fur. It was just a child being a child. Still, my first thought was, "How dare that little snot." Instead of expressing that feeling, I asked Peanut what  she said in response. "Nuffin," she shrugged. (That's Peanut for "nothing.")

She didn't seem fazed. More like she was just stating a fact. Her friend felt her jacket and said this. Can I have a snack now? Then I explained about different tastes and how sometimes our friends won't always like everything we like.

Later that night, I relayed the same story to My Director. She thought I was going to take the opportunity to make a snarky comment about another five year-old. (Really? Am I that shallow? That predictable?) But I wasn't mad at the little girl for expressing her opinion. Upon further review, I realized I was impressed with Peanut's response. She didn't say anything negative back. Didn't get defensive or lash out. She was... ambivalent.

"She has no concept of saying something negative like that to someone. None. The thought is foreign to her. Never would cross her mind," I said.

My Director agreed.

Then I came to the epiphany that inspired this blog post. And I admit, I'm going to sound like a proud, bragging dad here. But anyone who knows me or reads this blog would know I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think it was true.

"We know she's a good girl, but this makes me realize she's a good person."

And she agreed again. I was so proud at that moment. That a month before her 5th birthday I can tell my daughter is a good person. Now it's my job to make sure she stays that way. Sure, she has her moments of bossiness, lippy-ness. Sure there are times where she chooses not to listen, even pretends not to hear. But overall, she's a good girl.

Eventually she'll learn about all the negative in this world. There's plenty of time for that. But for now, I know she's a good person.

That's all a dad could ask for.

Peanut also recently taught me she has an admirable amount of fight and courage. I wrote about that here.

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Courage Under Fire

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." -John Bingham

When you least expect it, your child will teach you a lesson. Without even trying. Such was the case as the peanut and I went for a late evening walk with Luna one night this week.

Since my wife worked a little later than usual, we ate dinner a little later than usual. Right before we were finished she asked, "Daddy, are you taking Luna for a walk?" After I answered her yes, after dinner, she asked, "May I please come with you?" She had been such a good girl at dinner. And I can't say no when she asks so perfectly. Despite the late hour.

We finished our meal and I took the dishes into the kitchen to be done after we put the peanut to bed. I told her I was ready to go. "But, daddy, I need to draw a map first."

Cue the roll of the eyes, slumping of the shoulders, and bubbling up of annoyance. I only did this knowing she couldn't see me.

"Ok, sweetie. But it's already bedtime and it's getting dark. So we have to hurry." Within two minutes we were out the door, each of us with our map. Of course, I was thinking to myself that maybe I could turn the whole drawing a map thing into a blogable moment.

And as I was formulating that post in my head, halfway down our block, she tripped on the sidewalk. It happened out of nowhere. There wasn't even something to trip over.

Ouch (yes, I took pictures).

She landed on both knees and hands. A bad fall. She immediately started crying. And I could tell by the severity that this was no normal cry, this was no normal fall. I lifted her up and saw the nastiest of nasty scrapes on her knee. My poor baby.

She was so excited to be rewarded with this walk and all I could do was be annoyed. And now she's in my arms, bleeding and crying. You can imagine how poorly I felt.

I carried her home, while seeing at least three of our neighbors out of the corner of my eye looking on with concern on their faces. Luna, meanwhile, is utterly confused at this point. Having dropped her leash, she's still walking towards the park. I call her to join us, pick up the leash again, and proceed to drag her back home while carrying my broken peanut.

Required Two Dora Band-Aids

We get back to the house and I call for my wife to come tend to the peanut. I leave Luna, still wearing her leash, on the front lawn. My wife takes over. I look out the front door to find Luna laying on the front lawn, waiting and wondering.

We tend to the peanut. I don't want to leave but my wife says, "I'll take care of you while daddy walks Luna." And this is where she dropped the lesson without even trying.

"No," she said through her sobs and tears. "I still want to go with them."

Map in hand, ready to go again

Amazing. Simply amazing. We were floored. It's not that she was being unreasonable. She was telling us she was going to be ok enough to go for the walk. 

Luna, ever patient, is still laying out there waiting. We grab our maps and her leash and head off for our walk again. This time, holding hands. This time, I'm paying closer attention.

After Luna did her business and we we headed home, the peanut said she didn't want to walk anymore. "I'm tired, daddy."

Usually, I would give her my "this is a walk" line, and we don't carry you on a walk. But this time I gave in. This one time. I picked up my wounded little warrior and carried her home. Her reward for teaching me about courage, innocence, excitement, and perseverance all at once.

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THE PEANUT GALLERY: Haircut Edition

The peanut got her hair cut today. You can count on one hand the number of times she's had her hair cut in her lifetime. Her hair has become a signature part of her appearance and her personality. When she starts complaining about "getting like Rapunzel," we know it's time.

Those flowing locks (and Luna)

This is the first appointment on which I accompanied her since her first time. I was surprised enough at how much hair was on the floor underneath her, that I took a picture. Such a small head with so much hair:

I was a lot more composed this time. When she got her hair cut for the first time, I almost had a breakdown right there in the salon. Click here to read about it.

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You Never Know What's in Store

"Patience and perseverance have a magical affect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." -Pres. John Quincy Adams

The most seemingly inane decisions - the ones you think are as inconsequential as belly button lint - end up being the ones with perhaps the greatest impact.

There I was, two ingredients short of what I needed to pull off a successful taco night. The kind of taco night my family comes to expect: delicious, nutritious, and barely superstitious. Two crucial ingredients if you ask me: an onion, and peppers. So I decided to make a quick stop at the grocery store after I picked up my daughter from day care.

Since we were just running in to pick up a couple of essentials, I told her we wouldn't be using a shopping cart. She was alright with that.

So off we went.

Within 30 seconds, we had the onion. Then I remembered I was out of soy milk. That's when our road to Tacoville took a very entertaining detour. She started browsing. Fifteen seconds later, she was holding a tub of Country Crock, asking me what it was. "That's butter, sweetheart."

"Do we need butter, daddy?"

"No. Please put it back."

Then the milk... and all of the multi-colored caps identifying the varying amounts of fat content within. "It's pretty, daddy." I never thought of it that way. She especially liked the purple one. Then the blue one. "Can we get that one, daddy?"

"No, honey, we don't need that milk."

Moving down the dairy aisle to the sour cream, which she also thought was pretty. Luckily, it was on sale and since it was taco night, this was a welcome addition to our list.

At this point I'd like to remind you we went in for two items, and after one aisle we have three... and are still in need of one of our essentials.

Then, my daughter had to remind me of an urgent matter. "Daddy, we need Crunchies," she warned with all of the ambiguous seriousness of a 'check engine' light. "Crunchies" is what she calls her favorite cereal which, randomly, ridiculously, and nutritiously enough, is Special K with Strawberries.

So off to the cereal aisle we go. Big mistake. She wants Apple Jacks. She wants Trix. She wants Corn Flakes. The Corn Flakes, in turn, fall off the shelf and hit her on the head. I remind her that we're here to get "Crunchies," which I locate, and are also fortunately on sale. All is well with the world.

I learn later that evening that my daughter thinks we're out of Crunchies any day when I don't send them to day care for her to have for breakfast. I had made the mistake of packing her Rice Krispies that day.

Just for the record... four items in hand. One necessity still to go.

I strategically managed to steer our course away from the cookies, crackers, cakes, and candies. Remember - she is walking around on her own. Looking and touching and asking and shopping. And my hands are getting full. Thankfully, she is carrying the Crunchies.

We pass a woman whose daughter is whining incessantly, and she points to my daughter as an example of a little girl who is being good because she's not asking her daddy to pick her up. Oh, if she only knew about the pumpkin patch.

As we approach the frozen foods aisle. Yes - I admit - I use frozen pre-sliced peppers when I make my tacos. Forgive me. I work ten hours and have a 2 1/2 year-old and a wife who also works full-time. Something's gotta give. And slicing peppers is one of those somethings.

Before we turn the corner, we are greeted by a display of Disney character pez dispensers. Damn this store and its strategic marketing tactics. My daughter is beside herself. To her, this is the happiest place on earth. She immediately states that she "wants a lot of them."

This is where I use my wife's sage advice. She says sometimes you have to give in to preserve yourself. "Don't say 'no' if it's not going to hurt her," she says. So wise she is.

Again, remember the pumpkin patch.

"You may have one of them." She grabbed a pez dispenser featuring a female character I'd never seen before. "OK, you want that lady?" Then she gave the display a second look.

"I want Eyeore," she had carefully decided. "Really? Eyeore's kind of a buzzkill," I replied, all the while listing to myself all of the reasons I despise Eyeore: no self-confidence, no motivation, he's a drag on society, the economy, and his friends. But they somehow love him anyway.

"How about Tigger?"

"No. I want Eyeore." She wasn't budging. Until...

The top rack was filled with princesses. But my daughter noticed one was missing. "How come there's no Cinderelly," she asked. I was thinking the same thing myself. Here was my chance to replace Eyeore.

I searched for and found Cinderelly.

"I want both of them." Of course she does. "You may have one. So choose... Eyeore, or Cinderelly?" I strategically spoke Cinderella's name second so it was freshest in her mind.

She looked from one to the other, calculating, deliberating, and finally deciding, "I want Eyeore."

Ugh.

"Really?" I then told her, "you always manage to surprise me. Every day. I love that about you." Even if she did it by choosing Eyeore.

We got our peppers and our seven other items. We checked out, dodged some rain drops, buckled in, and she asked for the candy that goes in her new Eeyore Pez dispenser. There's no getting anything past this child.

"When we get home, you may have one piece."

Self-preservation rules once again. She had earned it. She was a good girl in the store. That other mom even said so.

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