We Took the Road Less Traveled

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops. That's where you'll find me."- from Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I was tired, hot, cranky, and annoyed. (I'm sure this comes as no surprise.) This was not my idea of a vacation. This is not how we had said we would spend our 10th Anniversary celebration. My Director had totally hijacked our day and dedicated it to shopping. No...looking for the perfect gift to repay my sister and brother-in-law for watching Peanut for the two weeks we were away. This is one area where we, and I believe most men and women, differ. Shopping. I don't look for things. I think of what I want ahead of time and I set off to buy things. Or, I see something and impulsively say, "I'm going to buy that," finances willing. But I never say, "I want something like this so I'm going to go look for it." That's just a waste of time. Nonsense.

Yet, here we were. Immersed in nonsense.

This is 1 of nearly 6,000 identical stores.
But look at her in her cute hat. I can't stay mad at her.

We were on the island of Murano, the place in Venice famous for its hand-blown glass. And My Director had taken a one-way boat to Nutsville, obsessed with buying a set of glasses. We went into every store, on a mission. It was maddening because all of these stores are the same, except for infinitesimal differences in each figurine, light fixture, or piece of jewelry. I was stuck in Venetian Groundhog Day and I needed out. So I threw a bit of a tantrum. Albeit, a strategic, impassioned, but sympathetic tantrum. To my surprise, it actually worked.

Still, I was tired, hot, cranky, and annoyed as we boarded a boat to head back to mainland Venice, Piazza San Marco. First we had to make one last stop at "Murano Faro." This is the only place where you get a boat to the island of Burano. One of my wishes for our trip was to go to Burano, because it's little known, quiet, far away. But at this point, in the state I was in (the "done with shopping" state), I felt defeated and resigned to go back.

This selfie proves there were actually more happy
moments on Murano than not. (And that I am terribly bald.)

"Last chance," My Director called to me. "If you want Burano we have to get off here. Now."

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The TV Hierarchy

Laying on the couch with a severe case of Man Cold for past few days, I've watched a lot of television. Most of it classic, awesome movies like Die Hard With a Vengeance, Field of Dreams, and Midnight Run. There is no better way to sweat out a bad case of Man Cold than by channeling the testosterone and coolness of the likes of Bruce Willis, James Earl Jones, and Robert DeNiro.

Watching all of that television inspired me to unveil this list, the undisputed rankings of what takes precedence on the television in our house. It is the result of years of negotiations. Now despite its length and detail, you'd think we watch a lot of television. Fear not. We watch just enough. You will notice it is very top-heavy in my favor. That is because I am willing to sacrifice what's on the television for a majority of the year, just to have complete authority when it counts. So without further ado, here is what rules the tube in the DKL house:

1. Pro football: For the sermon at our wedding, the pastor asked me and My Director to write about why we love each other. Neither of us was allowed to know what the other wrote until we heard the sermon. One of the things I wrote was, "Because she understands Sundays are for football." The pastor made sure to interject that Sundays are for church too. Well played, padre. Entire weekends are planned around me getting to sit on the couch for six hours and watch nothing but football. Or the Jets, who occasionally resemble football.

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The Road Less Traveled

"It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain..." -Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz

You never know how you're going respond to a moment. How you're going to react. I always envision myself breaking down and crying like a baby the moment the Jets finally win a Super Bowl in my lifetime. Tears of joy and relief, stunned disbelief. Then I snap back into reality and tell myself that's never going to happen. But a guy can dream.

I respond to the possible in the same way. So as Peanut's first day of school approached, I anticipated being an emotional mess. My Director did too. But we both said that we needed to keep ourselves composed for her sake. We turned our anxiety into excitement, building up her first day like we were waiting for the ball to drop on New Year's Eve. I am proud to say that we did hold it together.

Sorry. I tried for a cute picture but this is the best we could do. 

Brimming with Confidence

I should say My Director held it together. I did too, except for a brief moment after I said goodbye to Peanut. I kissed the top of her head and walked out of her classroom. I looked back and saw her sitting there coloring. My little Peanut, so big now. So strong. So independent:

Where did this person
come from?

I admit I got a little choked up. I felt the tears and the lump in the throat. But I fought it off to save face.

 
Once again, she thought nothing of this next step on our journey, this major milestone. She handled it with poise and grace. Just like her mom. Not only was Peanut not scared, she was fine. So we decided to be fine too. Because we know she is going to be fine.

We know because she's a lot more brave than we were at that age. She's more sociable and outgoing too. And she's amazingly curious. More curious than I remember being. When we recently watched The Wizard of Oz with her for the first time, for example, she provided us with an insight about the movie that we had never thought of before.

The Munchkins began to sing, "Follow the Yellow Brick Road." My Director and I instinctively began to sing along. Peanut, in full concentration mode while wearing her first-time-seeing-a-movie game face, interrupted our duet with a question that really forced both of us to think hard:

"What happens if they follow the red one?"

Why, yes. There IS a red one.

Red one? What red one? Yes. There it is. Right there, entwined in the spiral start of the yellow brick road. A red brick road. I was speechless. In all of my years of watching this movie hundreds of times, I never paid any mind to the red brick road, let alone wondered where it led. But not Peanut. That's the first thing she thought of. If the yellow brick road leads to the Emerald City, then where does the red brick road go?  (Incidentally, in one of the Oz books there is a second, much more treacherous yellow brick road. But no red one.)

So to make up for my lack of a suitable answer at the time of her question, I am responding to Peanut's most observant and clever query:

My sweet, the red brick road leads wherever you want it to. The only rules of the red brick road are these: follow your dreams and desires and make the most of your opportunities and talents. It will be what you make of it. No one will give you anything for free. It's never easy. But it can lead to wonderful riches, of the heart, mind, and even the wallet.

Curiosity is crucial along the red brick road. Don't ever stop asking questions like the ones you already ask me that routinely leave me stumped. Wonder and it will lead you to wonderful things. Mystery, adventure, love, heartache, laughter, tears, and friendship await you on the red brick road. Embrace these things. They will make you who you will become. Experience them. Remember them.

Taking that step

Now go on. Take that first step on the red brick road, if you choose. The first of many. It's truly amazing and inspiring. The places you'll go. The people you'll meet. The things you'll see. The things you'll eat. You don't need to rush along the red brick road. Walk. Enjoy. Savor. Soak it all in. Everything is there for the taking. You just have to go and get it. But earn it.

And as always, your mom and I are here for you when you get lost, when you need to find your way, when you're not sure of the direction. We will help you get there.

So go right ahead, Peanut. Follow the red brick road. I'm right behind you.

We actually had our doubts about showing Peanut The Wizard of Oz, but she once again proved she is more resilient than we sometimes give her credit for. You can read about it here. 

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We Finally Saw the Wizard

"A heart is not measured by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." -My favorite line from The Wizard of Oz 

"The Wizard of Oz" (1939/Rated G): You ever get something in your head, and you make a bigger deal of it than it actually is? In hindsight, that's probably what My Director and I did with The Wizard of Oz. We played up in our minds that it was way too scary to show to Peanut until she was "ready." (Whatever ready means.) Turns out, besides being a little freaked out by the witch every time she popped up, Peanut was fine. She had no problem sleeping that night, and we proceeded to watch it 27 more times the rest of the week.

To put our hesitation over showing Peanut this movie into perspective, the day after we watched it for the first time we were joking with friends of ours who took their five year-old boys to see The Dark Knight Rises. How's THAT for opposite ends of the spectrum? Not something I would do, but to each their own.

As for The Wizard of Oz itself, it had been at least ten years if not more since I had seen it. And let me tell you, I fell in love with it all over again. (What can I say? I'm a sucker for nostalgia.) It not only transports me to a different place, it transports me to a different time. To when I had to wait for the once-a-year event, when it would air on CBS on a Sunday night in March. My parents would let me stay up late to watch it with them. The cowardly lion is my favorite, by the way. He steals the show in my opinion. (Little-known DKL fact: I played the cowardly lion in a play once and killed it.)

"What do they got that I ain't got?"

Watching it again, I couldn't help but think of its place in movie history, in American pop culture history. Did you know The Wizard of Oz lives in Library of Congress? Think about how groundbreaking it was for its time. I am in awe even though I know Dorothy and her friends are clearly dancing to the end of a sound stage when they turn a corner on the yellow brick road and skip off screen. I am still awed even though you can clearly see the string that makes the cowardly lion's tail wag. And the "city" of Oz is really just a big room decorated green.

Still, the magic and the wonder take hold of me.

As a dog owner I do feel compelled to point out Toto's big naughty scene. As much as he is a hero who escapes Mrs. Gultch, leads the three friends to save Dorothy, and ultimately reveals the wizard's true identity, he decides to act up at the worst, most crucial time. Just when Dorothy is about to be sent home, he jumps out of her arms to go after a cat and the wizard takes off in his balloon without her. Bad dog. Otherwise, Toto saves the day most of this movie.

And while I'm pointing out some issues with the movie, the witch's guards are so inept they can't spear a runaway dog? And Glinda the Good Witch has the nerve to float in on her bubble in the penultimate scene and tell Dorothy she had the ability to go home all along? That information would have been very helpful back in Munchkinland, lady. Also:

Still, The Wizard of Oz is a timeless classic. I'm sure if you've read this far you have fond memories of watching it as a child, and/or with your child. Its initial viewing in your home with your child should be an event. But I would recommend waiting until at least the age of five because of the scary parts.

Our paranoia over this movie being too scary for Peanut came from the nightmares she had after watching another movie. You can read about that here. 

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