This post she wrote for us today, however, I agree with wholeheartedly. You see, Dumbsaint is the complete opposite of DKL as far as demographics. While I am a married parent of one child, she is a single parent of six. Still, we both get an unwanted earful from yahoos who find a need to comment on the size of our respective families. I am pleased to present this post that she wrote in response to my "What to Expect When You're NOT Expecting" post from last week. Enjoy, then go follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
Save your breath for blowing up water wings, you breeder!
It was sort of like one of the fertility goddesses in her omnipotent glory thought it would be the most hysterical thing ever to make me the Poster Girl for Failed Birth Control. That snarky Goddess may have intended it as a curse but dammit - I showed her and accepted all of my crotch trophies as blessings.
Not everyone sees my family and others like mine as being blessed and wow, are they vocal about it. Rudely so. I suppose that's my comeuppance for being such a little punk.
There was this one time, a few years before the birth of Offspring #6, I took my family to a community Fall Harvest Dance. There were two women standing by the entrance when we walked in, chatting about their Mommy stuff. One of them stopped talking and actually head-counted my kids out loud. She turned to the other woman and said, “Wow, FIVE kids!” The other woman wrinkled her nose in disgust and said, “It’s so irresponsible to have any more than one child.”
Amazingly, my vagina may double as a clown car for small humans but I do still have the ability to hear. Parts of my brain didn't come out with the afterbirth. I’m not stupid. I can tell when people are being judgmental a$$holes.
That one time was not an isolated incident. It happens frequently, in fact. There is nothing like a Mama out in public with her spawnlings to make hyper-opinionated people forget how to behave like they’re civilized and polite. The brain filter that inhibits stupid things from coming out of their mouth fails completely and next thing you know, they’re asking a total stranger, “Don’t you know what birth control is?”
Other actual things total strangers have said to me:
“Are you done yet?”
“Don’t you know what causes that?”
“You must be a good Catholic and not believe in birth control.”
“You know, there’s Pills you can take to stop that from happening….”
“Don’t you care about the planet? “
“Did you ever consider having an abortion?”…said while looking at my 3rd trimester pregnant belly
“How can you possibly LOVE all of them?”
…and even more! Those are the greatest hits.
I suppose it’s fortunate that I live in an area where people are more concerned about the havoc my reproductive habits are causing on the planet and its resources instead of concentrating on how economically feasible it is to have a large family. Yeah, we're not doing so well economically right now but it wasn't always that way and seriously, is it really anyone's business? It isn’t. If they are not personally providing all the monetary funding of shelter,clothing, food, and the other essential ingredients of parenting (love, for example), it doesn’t concern them.
It takes a lot to offend me but seriously...when someone is questioning why my children are on the planet and whether or not they should exist at all, that's pretty goddamn offensive. It's also extremely insulting to suggest that one of the biggest tree-huggers ever wouldn’t know how to raise a large family with the least amount of impact on the planet. A childless couple lived next door to us for a while. On garbage day, they put 4 times the amount of trash out as our family of 8. They each had a car. (We have none and either walk, bike or use public transport). Yet no one at the playground was leering at their butt, trying to see if they used disposable or cloth diapers! Sheesh.
If it's any consolation, my children who are old enough to ponder upon such issues have all decided that they probably will not reproduce biologically. They will not perpetuate their mother's oh-so- irresponsible propagation of life. Instead, they would like to become a parent to the children who didn't have what they were born into - a family that loves and cares for them. Can you imagine the monumental effect it would have on our world if every single person who concerned themselves with the activities of breeding matriarchs focused their attention instead on the living and breathing children who happen to have residence on the planet with no place to call home or people to call family?
Oh, I get chills thinking about it.
*Blog title inspired by this great episode of The Simpsons called MARGE VS. SINGLES, SENIORS, CHILDLESS COUPLES AND TEENS, AND GAYS]