A friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook. It was of her daughter entering daycare for the last time. A big moment. A milestone. Certainly a bittersweet one. The end of one era with daycare and the beginning of another one with Kindergarten. The first person to comment in the thread underneath the picture said, "Time to have another baby."
Not knowing the relationship between this person and my friend, I resisted the urge to call him a tool for all the world to see in a corresponding comment. I did, however, want to reach through my computer screen and smack him.
Why do people feel the need to say these things? Of all of the comments you can make, THAT is the first one that comes to mind?
|From Summer 2012|
Now only if everyone else were at peace with it too. Mainly, my mom. But others as well. People just can't help themselves. Why? Why do they need to question, assume, and prod? Someone actually thought it appropriate to tell Peanut that she will have a little brother or sister someday. How do they know? Can they predict the future?
People also look for any opportunity for us to have another baby. Even when there is none. Like when one of us changes jobs, gets a pay increase, or saves a ton of money by switching to Geico. Someone will inevitably and enthusiastically say, "Now you can have a second." Wait... what? How does one have anything to do with the other? That's not what we were thinking. Why is it what you were thinking? Why is it the FIRST THING you were thinking? Again, why is it any of your business?
Or if we're spending an evening alone, away from Peanut, we'll get, "Mark your calendar. You'll have a baby nine months from tonight. Wink. Wink." Uh... no we won't... head shake... eye roll... sigh. There are ways of preventing conception, FYI. Couples are known to do that... on purpose. Bizarre as that may seem. But thank you for your rude innuendo.
They just assume another child is inevitable. God forbid if my wife isn't drinking at a social event, or if she passed on the shrimp cocktail. Their immediate response is, "Are you pregnant?" No. Stop asking. You're annoying.
Gossip. Nosiness. Assumptions. That's what we get.
We also get pity. Because, for some reason, people think our family is incomplete. Family, friends, acquaintances. They're all guilty. We appreciate the concern. But I am being sincere when I say that we are the best judge of what we need. We have decided for now we are one-child people. Whatever our reasons are, they are our reasons.
|Our Sweet Family, Halloween 2012|
This post originally appeared on Barista Kids in August. To read my original defense of the only child, where I compare Peanut to an Olympic champion, click here.