Truer words have never be spoken. So fitting that they're from Cinderella herself. Especially that last line above. More on that in a minute...
But first, if you've ever wondered what happened after the credits stopped rolling at the end of the Cinderella; if you've ever wondered about the scene after the last piece of confetti had been thrown and the last piece of wedding cake had been eaten; if you've ever wondered if they truly lived their happily ever after, wonder no more. This is the true Hollywood story the writers of the fairy tales don't want you to know. A story of secrets, lies, intrigue, and sexually transmitted disease. Yes, there is an STD at the end of this story.
Our not-so-fairy tale begins with the happy couple. Or are they? We are led to believe so. Spend a minute with Prince Charming, however, and you'll soon realize he's distant, aloof, and not all that charming. In fact, he's kind of a snobby dufus. Aimlessly wandering over to our table at an event dubbed "Cinderella's Royal table" and assuming we wanted his autograph. "Do you have something you'd like me to sign?" Yeah, buddy. Sign the dinner check you rich pompous jerk. If you're charming, then I've got a full head of hair. And that's another thing: Greg Brady called... he wants his coif back.
|Peanut couldn't get far enough away from Prince Boring|
|Lady Tremaine is actually the charming one|
|Anastasia is funny (and Peanut is groping My Director)|
|Drizella truly stole the show. (Look at those smiles!)|
We just don't know. We may never know. For now, all we do know is we'll never look at Cinderella the same way again. "Whatever you wish for you keep." Indeed.
I think real-life Cinderella's herp is even more disturbing than the perverted Belle sippy cup I have to deal with from time to time.