I Saw a Little Girl

"Parenting is a stage of life's journey where the milestones come about every fifty feet."  ~Robert Brault

Baby Peanut, almost 1 year

I saw a little girl in church today. A baby girl. Her hair was just starting to grow. She couldn't have been more than six or eight months old. I can't tell the age of babies as well as I used to. I used to be really good at it. Then again, I don't have a baby anymore. I have you, my wonderful 5 year-old who's graduating pre-K this week.

I saw a little girl in church today. She was standing in front of the congregation among a group of parishioners who were all high school and college graduates. The pastor was giving them a special blessing. She's going to Princeton in the fall. She was one of your Sunday school teachers. We see her every time we go to the bookstore, because she works there. An impressive young woman. A role model.

Baby Peanut, 3 months

I saw a little girl in church today. It was Father's Day. It made me think of my first Father's Day as your dad. It was five years ago.  I saw a little girl in church that day too. It just so happened to be your Baptism day. So my first Father's Day was all about you. That was fine with me because without you, there is no Father's Day for me. You taught me how to be a dad more than the books and the doctors and the relatives and the blogs. (Yes, even the blogs.)

I never had to learn how to be a father. I had to learn how to be your father. Your dad. I'm still learning as we go. I know more than I did at the beginning. But I still have a long way to go. (Thus, Daddy Knows Less.) So do you. But I am having so much fun being your dad.

I've always been an in-your-face kind of dad

Even when we're not having fun. Even when you're not happy that I'm saying no. Even when I'm disciplining you. Sure, the laughter and the playing are great. But those tough times are when I feel the most fatherly. When I feel I am being the best dad I can. When I feel like I'm teaching you to be the person you can become. The person you will become. Smart, happy, independent, kind, generous, fun-loving.

I saw a little girl in church today. Her mom was holding her. She was clenching one of those teething toys that makes the crinkley sounds. I looked at that precious little baby girl. Then I looked at you. Sitting on our kneeler in your sundress and your flowing long blonde hair, immersed in your coloring sheets on the pew. And my eyes started to well up.

My girls and I on Father's Day

I saw a little girl in church today. A baby with her whole life in front of her.

I saw a little girl in church today. A young woman with endless possibilities, who can seemingly change the world for the better.

I see you in all of them.

I saw a little girl in church today. And it was you.