It's Up To You, New York

"If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere." -Frank Sinatra

There are moments when I truly love New York. When it shows you its heart and soul and you really wonder why the greatest city in the world gets such a bad rap.

Then there are moments when I just want to punch the city in the face and then demand an apology for making me do it.
This is the story of one of those punch-in-the-face moments.

On the Friday before Fourth of July weekend, my wife took the peanut to work with her. Daycare was closed and my wife had a half day because of the holiday. The peanut actually gets excited for these days. The train ride in, the subway, all of the attention from co-workers. But these days are exhausting for her.

Always an adventure. Especially this time because my wife had decided to leave the stroller at home. "It's too heavy," she proclaimed. "Besides, she's old enough to walk the few blocks from the subway to my office." Fine.

The large bouquet of flowers

I left my work in midtown early to meet them downtown where my wife works. We were ready to start our vacation together. That day my wife's boss had given her a large bouquet of flowers for her birthday. My primary function was to carry these flowers three long blocks to the subway, three stops on the subway, one long block to the bus station, and on the bus ride home.

Remember, the peanut is walking this whole time and being such a good sport about it despite the heat. She's holding our hands, listening, and even staying within reasonable distance when she had insisted on walking by herself.
We get on the subway and, naturally, there are no seats. At this point, the peanut starts complaining. Out loud. "Mommy, I really want to sit down."

Nothing from the other passengers.

She says it again.

My wife explains that there are no seats.

Nothing still.

One woman is actually looking directly at my daughter as she is requesting a seat. And still she doesn't get up.

This is when I want to punch New York in the face.

What possesses people to sit there while a little girl is asking to sit down? She's not even whining. Just stating that she's tired and wanted a seat.

Someone finally gets up to offer her his seat. But it turns out he was getting off at the next stop. So to me, that doesn't count.

We all get seats at that stop. A dad and his little boy, a kid about a year younger than my daughter, slide down to make room for me.

Remember I'm still holding this enormous vase of flowers.

The moment I crouch to sit, I hear the dad who moved over for me start screaming. Yes, screaming.

"Whoa! WHOOAAA! WHOAAAA!"

I had accidentally tipped the flowers and some of the water inside had dripped out onto his son, who was sitting next to me. This father then proceeded to make a ridiculous scene out of the whole thing. Shaking his head in disapproval. Scowling. Checking his son's black t-shirt for, I guess, water stains.

It was a disproportionate response that was so out of line he probably didn't hear my heartfelt apology because he was screaming so loudly. I no longer cared that his stupid kid was wet because of me. I kind of felt at that point it was payback for everyone else not giving up their seats for a little girl.

My wife, annoyed at this moron and the rest of the car full of jerks who wouldn't give the peanut a seat then chimed in, "It's only water. It'll probably cool him off on this hot day."

Had my daughter not been there, I may have added a " you a$$hole" before he and his not-quite-soggy kid got off at the next stop.

These are the moments when I want to punch New York in the face and then demand an apology for making me do it.

Luckily, a ten day vacation followed.