A smattering of pink and yellow |
It means I'm a trendy guy. Some may even say a trendsetter. More on that in a moment.
The "outrageous" JCrew ad |
A debate is raging on the internet and the cable networks over a boy with his toenails painted pink. Oh, the horror. J.Crew used the image of a mother painting her son's toenails in an ad. Some people were offended and concerned that we're blurring the lines of gender identification in this country. "This is an attack on traditional family values," they said.
Give me a break.
Straight guy, yellow pants, pink tie |
What is wrong with people?
I admit it... I watch "Grey's" |
Maybe it's their fault. I remember my mother being emphatic about dressing me nicely for school. Button-down shirts tucked into dungarees. Always a belt. Never jeans or sneakers. Did she make me this way? Did she make me love clothes? What the hell did she do to me?
Gastineau: definitely not gay |
I dress well and look good. Thank you, mom.
I also distinctly remember carrying what could only be described as a handbag when I was a little boy. You read that right. A handbag. You know what I carried in it? Baseball cards. I needed something to carry baseball cards in... and that's what I found. Like I said... trendsetter. I was the first guy to carry a man purse. It was 1981 and I was 6. But I also remember it not being so manly.
Shortly thereafter, I recall my parents getting me a football-shaped bag for me to carry my stuff around.
Loved Mr. Do |
Now, I'm pretty sure my parents would have never painted my toenails pink... and I think that's ok too. I also don't think I would endorse my wife painting our son's toenails any color... if we had a son... unless he asked. I would still be hesitant... but on second thought... why the hell not?
After all, my daughter's favorite color is blue... but I'm pretty sure that does not make her a lesbian.
Frank Sinatra sings a line in Soliloquy that is poignant yet may apply here in a troubling way:
"You can have fun with a son, but you've got to be a father to a girl."
Maybe I'm reading too much into that lyric, but I do notice a trend among some parents of boys. It may be inadvertant, but they treat their children differently based on gender. Girls need to be handled delicately. Boys we need to toughen up. I frequently hear baby boys and toddler boys being affectionately referred to as "my little man." How about we let boys be boys?
She swings a mean bat... while wearing a tutu |
It shouldn't be our job to dictate who our kids are and who they will become. It's our job as parents to recognize the path they are leaning towards, and help them navigate it.
They're looking for us to help them figure it out... no matter what color their toenails are painted.
I mentioned above that I'm bad at fixing things. Well, that's not entirely true, as I wrote here.
My oldest boy is not as MANLY as a lot of kids his age... it used to bother me that he didn't like sports and was into more artsy things. I have learned to embrace that and realize that his passions are his drawings. I think we have it in our heads, especially a dad with a son, that he should NOT be doing certain things, like it is going to change who he is going to become. I wouldn't want my son to wear pink nail polish, but if he's happy with it great... although my boys hate Pink, thank God!
ReplyDeleteI love this post Justin. Most of all I love that picture of P in her tutu with the baseball bat. That pretty much says it all. You guys should be proud of the parents that you are!
ReplyDeletei was that there day and i will be forever honored that you sported yellow pants and a pink tie to our wedding, justin. now, i am even that much more touched to have, in some small way, made an appearance in your blog on this awesometastic post. love it. especially as i sit at home awaiting the arrival of my own little man, er, boy, or, really, what i prefer to call to him in utero: dude. you might be happy to know that we will be bringing him home from the hospital (hopefully, sooner than later...) in his pink car-seat. yes, that's right. borrowed, free, was never in an accident, and, pink! whatevs.
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ReplyDeleteHappy to hear so many positive responses. Thank you. And to "boggywoggy," perhaps your pregnancy distracted you from the first time an image (closer up and none of us are squinting) from your wedding appeared on the blog. It was recently:
ReplyDeletehttp://daddyknowsless.blogspot.com/2011/03/father-of-bride.html
All I can say is, the world needs more dads like you! The gift of acceptance...the best gift you can give someone else. Thank you for making me smile!
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