Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Greatest Show On Earth

Come one, come all! Step right up and gaze upon the wondrous, the incredible, the spectacular! For behind the doors of our humble yet overpriced condo lies the most amazing, the most remarkable, the most awe-inspiring specimen you will ever witness.

For here lives a child, a baby, who, in an instant, can defrost your soul, empower you to do the unthinkable, and send chills racing up and down your spine! She can make the most heartless curmudgeon shed a happy tear. Make the most cynical skeptic believe. Make the downtrodden, well, up-trodden. And she can do it with the most simple of gestures.

Without warning or provocation, this little baby began smiling this week. But be careful, it's highly contagious and dangerously addictive. Once she starts flashing that gummy little grin, you will do whatever it takes to keep it going. And you will find yourself smiling long after the joy has been wiped away by the cries of hunger.

The unexplainable part of the whole thing is her most favorite place on this earth is her changing table. That's where we get the most yucks. Take a normal nursery, add a stinky baby, one or two parents, and wham! You're transported to The Laugh Factory. But there's no Rodney Dangerfield on this stage uttering classic one-liners. Just mom and dad. She has no idea what we're saying, but we're apparently the most entertaining people in the whole world.

It seems she likes the sound of words like "poo-poo." I guess if you said that to me enough times, I'll start laughing uncontrollably as well. Good thing I have the same sense of humor as a 6 week old girl. She also likes when I refer to her dirty diaper as a 'smoothie.' But, interestingly enough, when she's in the process of dirtying that diaper, and I ask her if she's 'making a smoothie,' she's not that amused. That's purely for the purpose of my entertainment. What? I like smoothies. Doesn't everyone like smoothies?

She does a lot more than smile, laugh, and make smoothies. She'll lie there wide eyed, arms and legs flailing in one motion, like a Viking rowing a longship. Then she'll blurt out a series of indecipherable bursts of sounds, like when you're scrolling through the stations on the car radio. She's trying to tell us something! Hopefully she's laughing with us, not at us. The person behind those blank stares from the first month is starting to come out!

But act fast. This is the hottest ticket since "The Producers" debuted on Broadway. And this show is rarely the same twice. It's always evolving. Always changing. You don't want to miss it! Because it's only going to get better.

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